Variations On Parodies of Kilmer's Trees

First version I hope that I will seldom be On some sinking ship that's on the sea; A ship whose captain and whose crew Have found much better things to do Than stay and try to rescue me From going down beneath the sea. I think that it is only fair That I not drown in underwear, Nor never need I to explain The precise nature of that stain. Kilmer once wrote the poem "Trees", While lesser fools write parodies. *********************************** Second version I think that I shall never see A poem as nice as my TV; With screen that in the evening glows With all those wondrous nightly shows That make me feel so debonair, So warm and snug, without a care; The game shows that do stupefy, With ads that show me stuff to buy. I look at my TV all day, And when it's broke I curse and pray. This satire’s writ by fools like me, But Samsung made my big TV. ************************* Third version I’ve heard there'll never better be Than this: “To be or not to be”, That famous line from Hamlet's scene, But, what the hell, what does it mean? A line that sounds good in the play As if it had deep stuff to say; A line that had great style and wit Back in the day when it was writ. My English teach tried to explain To us dumb kids and make it plain; Said Shakespeare’s words were just sublime. But mostly they don’t even rhyme! So Shakespeare wrote these words of note And now it's his most famous quote, And English majors study it To get degrees in English lit.