Vanity

I heard someone say never make the same mistake twice They were referring to love So I started to relate, my mind started to penetrate The reasons why the heart had grown cold Like a movie, the plot started to unfold And I saw myself. I mean, really viewed myself and became third person Why not first? Because it was too painful to tell my own story So I became she A woman who forced her own misery by believing she could control her own destiny Heart pacing with every sound, she declared to understand her emotions Chose a man who did not reciprocate devotion Lacked respect so didn’t think she needed none Who needed love, he thought, when life was all about fun She tried to reconstruct her appearance for him So I nicknamed her Vanity But nothing would ever suffice, causing her to somehow lose her sanity A perfect love. Dreams of starry nights and kisses on the forehead Curled up under the nook of his arm on top of his bed Sharing secrets and penetrating hidden walls Making love until the roosters made their morning calls Vanity wanted to live in a movie, She wanted the fame and the beauty She visioned scenes of her admirer answering her every beck and call But pieces of the movie started to crumble and fall So she settled. Vanity didn’t even have faith in Prince Charming anymore Those kind of men didn’t exist…the type that open doors She led a dead end journey to a man who’s heart she would never own With every kiss from him, she still knew she wasn’t alone He became her best friend, and a passionate lover But every night he still committed to another At times things felt just right, but never good enough She knew her mother raised a young lady better than this And her decisions were tough Vanity cried the day he told her he loved her She cried because that was the day the affair ended They were both in love but he wouldn’t leave HER She could barely stomach to see herself in the mirror, everything was a blur Vanity wanted to hate him, “What an awful man” She would try to instill in her mind But her heart didn’t believe it, he just wasn’t the right kind The kind you would hate. So instead, she hated herself for giving up on love For trying to borrow someone else’s love Vanity had lost the biggest fight of her life and the truth was Vanity…didn’t even know what love was anymore.