Vanity

I heard someone say never make the same mistake twice
They were referring to love
So I started to relate, my mind started to penetrate
The reasons why the heart had grown cold
Like a movie, the plot started to unfold
And I saw myself.
I mean, really viewed myself and became third person
Why not first?
Because it was too painful to tell my own story
So I became she
A woman who forced her own misery by believing she could control her own 
destiny
Heart pacing with every sound, she declared to understand her emotions
Chose a man who did not reciprocate devotion
Lacked respect so didn’t think she needed none
Who needed love, he thought, when life was all about fun
She tried to reconstruct her appearance for him
So I nicknamed her Vanity
But nothing would ever suffice, causing her to somehow lose her sanity
A perfect love.
Dreams of starry nights and kisses on the forehead
Curled up under the nook of his arm on top of his bed
Sharing secrets and penetrating hidden walls
Making love until the roosters made their morning calls
Vanity wanted to live in a movie,
She wanted the fame and the beauty
She visioned scenes of her admirer answering her every beck and call
But pieces of the movie started to crumble and fall
So she settled.
Vanity didn’t even have faith in Prince Charming anymore
Those kind of men didn’t exist…the type that open doors
She led a dead end journey to a man who’s heart she would never own
With every kiss from him, she still knew she wasn’t alone
He became her best friend, and a passionate lover
But every night he still committed to another
At times things felt just right, but never good enough
She knew her mother raised a young lady better than this
And her decisions were tough
Vanity cried the day he told her he loved her 
She cried because that was the day the affair ended
They were both in love but he wouldn’t leave HER
She could barely stomach to see herself in the mirror, everything was a blur
Vanity wanted to hate him, “What an awful man”
She would try to instill in her mind
But her heart didn’t believe it, he just wasn’t the right kind
The kind you would hate.
So instead, she hated herself for giving up on love
For trying to borrow someone else’s love
Vanity had lost the biggest fight of her life and the truth was
Vanity…didn’t even know what love was anymore.

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