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Vanishing From View

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Entry for the Vanishing Point Poetry Contest: Sponsored by: Di11y Da11y 

A crush of grey faces, solemn against the grey sky, the grey sea; a pale, youthful khaki column slow board the ship from granite quay from which a crowd; sisters, mothers, cheer, with feigned encouragement as they had done for all others; one by one, families are rent. Flags fail to flutter in the breeze, too limp with early morning dew, will not acclaim these enlistees with glorious red, white, and blue. They, silent, smiling, sharing smokes depart, in dawn's colourless haze with knowing stares at their kinfolks where both their inner thoughts betrays. The whooping horn, the splash of rope the churning oily water, twixt they and the widening space of hope as the ship slow departs the bay. Some linger, watch the vessel leave; others close eyes, and turn their back; all, secretly, already grieve, as the yellow black topped smoke stack vanishes from view and, takes away those few.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024




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Date: 9/15/2024 7:59:00 PM
Nice language, descriptions and mood, Terry.
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Terry Miller
Date: 9/16/2024 1:26:00 AM
Thank you David
Date: 9/15/2024 8:26:00 AM
I take it this is a ship of immigrants who can't make it in their own country. Very descriptive one, Terry, of the grey day, the ship, and the feelings of those watching on shore.
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Terry Miller
Date: 9/15/2024 8:40:00 AM
It is young boys going off to fight a war
Date: 9/7/2024 7:39:00 PM
Dear Terry, your poem captures poignant moments with heart wrenching imagery and finesse, where everyone wonders what kind of homecoming awaits in the future. The emotive verse “all, secretly, already grieve” is perfectly placed in your poem for maximum impact. A captivating, potent piece. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
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Terry Miller
Date: 9/9/2024 8:19:00 AM
Thank you so much Susan

Book: Reflection on the Important Things