Jan Allison | + Follow Poet |
Tritina | + Fav Poem | Comment | Email | Print |

Valentine's Day Tritina

Would my guy propose on Valentine’s day
get down on bended knee with a red rose
I’d love to wear a sparkling diamond ring

I waited patiently all morning for him to ring
alas, there was no call from him that day
and knots of anguish in my heart rose

The bile in the pit of my stomach rose
as a policeman gave my doorbell a ring
my guy knocked down by a car on Valentine’s day

On Valentine’s day he died ... carrying a red rose and ring

FICTION POEM

Tritina Contest
Sponsored by Charles Messina

2/13/19

Please Login to post a comment

Sara Kendrick Date: 2/26/2019 6:26:00 AM Congrats on your winning work. Way to go. A very sad story though. Thanks for dropping by with congrats. Sara Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/28/2019 11:57:00 AM thanks Sara:-) hugs Jan xx

Line Gauthier Date: 2/25/2019 5:16:00 PM O Jan! A striking poem. Congrats on your well deserved top win. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/28/2019 11:57:00 AM thanks Line:-) hugs Jan xx

Joseph May Date: 2/24/2019 6:11:00 PM Congrats on your win Jan Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/24/2019 7:18:00 PM thanks Joseph:-) hugs Jan xx

Kim Rodrigues Date: 2/24/2019 4:30:00 PM A much deserved win! Congratulations, Jan! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/24/2019 5:57:00 PM thanks Kim:-) hugs Jan xx

Charles Messina Date: 2/24/2019 3:53:00 PM Jan, so many great poems entered in my contest and yours is one of them. Very well penned as usual. Congratulations on your win. Hugs // Charlie xx Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/24/2019 5:57:00 PM thanks Charles:-) hugs Jan xx

Paul Callus Date: 2/18/2019 9:38:00 AM How sad! You sure know how to pull at our heart strings, Jan! I must look into this form; I don't remember ever writing one. Hugs // paul Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/18/2019 2:49:00 PM I surprise people with a serious poem from time to time. I've only written this form once before, its quite a fun challenge:-) hugs Jan xx

M. L. Kiser Date: 2/14/2019 9:16:00 AM Oh how painful; beautifully painted Tritina though. Happy Valentine's day! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/14/2019 10:28:00 AM thanks ML hope you have a wonderful day too:-) hugs Jan xx

Connie Marcum Wong Date: 2/14/2019 3:13:00 AM A spectacular job on this challenging form I have never tried Jan. Really well done! Happy Valentine's Day my friend! xxoo Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/14/2019 3:49:00 AM Thanks Connie I hope Charles likes it:-) Hope Mike spoils you my friend we are having a special steak dinner but don't do the lovey dovey hearts and flowers bit and anyway the postmen are on strike from today!:-) hugs jan xx

Caren Krutsinger Date: 2/13/2019 11:26:00 PM I was going along, thinking lovely, lovely, lovely, and bam! Suddenly it turned into something else entirely. This is exactly what moments like this feel like, so a great write Jan. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/14/2019 3:39:00 AM thanks so much Caren:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich Date: 2/13/2019 8:15:00 PM wow, you did great with this form, Jan. I remember the first one i ever wrote. It was a struggle for me! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/14/2019 3:39:00 AM It's my second attempt at the form I enjoyed the challenge:-) Have a wonderful Valentine's day - i am cooking a special meal but we don;t do the commercialised crap with inflated prices for one day and anyway the postmen are on strike for 3 days from today, no love for them!:-) hugs Jan xx

CayCay Jennings Date: 2/13/2019 7:38:00 PM Well done, I'm so impressed. Great job, Jan. Poetry hugs ... CayCay Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/13/2019 7:58:00 PM thanks caycay:-) hugs Jan xx

Gershon Wolf Date: 2/13/2019 6:25:00 PM What a tear-jerker in just 10 lines. You are so good at these situations so full of pathos (whatever that means). Like it a lot, my friend. Best wishes, Gershon Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/13/2019 6:27:00 PM thanks GW I much prefer humour but never know what my muse will come up with:-) hugs Jan xx

Rico Leffanta Date: 2/13/2019 6:10:00 PM Nicely done, Jan! Aloha! Rico Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/13/2019 6:26:00 PM thanks Rico:-) hugs Jan xx

Carolyn Devonshire Date: 2/13/2019 5:20:00 PM Though I'm not familiar with the form, your message certainly touched my heart, Jan. Beautiful! Best wishes in Charlie's new contest. Hugs, Carolyn Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/13/2019 5:23:00 PM thanks Carolyn I was inspired by Valentine's day tomorrow:-) hugs Jan xx

Kim Rodrigues Date: 2/13/2019 1:32:00 PM Very nicely done! I want to try this but have company this week so will see. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/13/2019 1:36:00 PM thanks Kim, enjoy your weekend:-) hugs Jan xx

Bobby May Date: 2/13/2019 1:16:00 PM Well done Jan, you have a gift my friend! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 2/13/2019 1:19:00 PM Thanks Bobby I hope Charles likes it:-) hugs Jan xx