Useless Info

An army of mites reside in our lashes
With mouths and tiny claws
Along the way during human evolution
This surely must be a flaw

Astronauts strangely can't burp in space
What kind of useless dribble is that
A feline can have over a hundred kittens
Now that's one pooped out cat

Some atheists put up Christmas trees
An identity crisis for sure
A cow can poop up to four tons a year
That's sure a big batch of manure

A woman once had sixty-nine children
Talk about barefoot and pregnant
With a dirty big bunch of kiddies like that
She could hold her own beauty pageant

Nose prints are used to identify dogs
Imagine if used them for humans
Especially during the influenza season
There'd be snot all over the policeman

The tallest people in the world are the Dutch
Must always duck around windmills
While kissing most tilt their head to the right
But there's some who rub noses still

The salary of Toto in “The Wizard Of Oz”
Was a hundred twenty dollars a week
That's a hundred and twenty more than me
Since retiring my new job is sleep

©Jack Ellison 2012
Copyright © | Year Posted 2012

Poem

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Breidenthal Avatar
December 24, 2017 at 5:36 AM
Useless info - may be useless but it sure is interesting and entertaining. First stanza is disturbing... lol Stanza 5 -never thought of that, but now someone has! I like the way your mind works! Always, Laura
Ellison Avatar
December 24, 2017 at 12:01 PM
That first line gotcha eh!!! LOL Always looking for a place to add humour!!! My mind has a mind of it's own!!!!!!!!
Eastman Avatar
September 14, 2012 at 11:40 AM
Bravo! Welcome to poetrysoup!
Ellison Avatar
September 14, 2012 at 3:08 PM
How long have you been a member here? I just joined at the beginning of August after 3 years and FanStory. Love the Soup a whole bunch... less competitive and so many sweet friends here! Thanks again, Carol... love ya, Jack xox
Pettit Avatar
September 11, 2012 at 11:23 PM
The tallest people in the world are the Dutch? I always thought members of the Watusi tribe in Africa were all at least seven feet tall. Some local sports broadcasters didn't know the meaning of "dry dock". Apparently, they were not in the navy. Good write Jack.
Ellison Avatar
September 12, 2012 at 6:21 AM
Got these bits of info from a website of useless stuff! I also thought the Watusi's were the tallest... oh well, "windmills" worked for the rhyme! LOL Cheers
Ellis Avatar
September 11, 2012 at 7:43 PM
Thanks for the chuckle!!
Ellison Avatar
September 11, 2012 at 8:35 PM
Thank you, Patricia... glad I could provide provide the chuckles!
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