Danielle Brunelle | + Follow Poet |
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Used To

When did I grow to become so numb inside
Death and disaster surround me 
Yet I feel nothing trust me I tried

Have I grown so hollow that I no longer feel at all?
I see the fear n sorrow in others
While their pain seems so big mine seems so small

My heart used to carry such a heavy load
I felt so much
It felt like it could explode

I wore my heart on my sleeve 
Until one day it stopped feeling
Or that’s just what I want to believe

I used to cherish everyone and hold on too tight
But now I barely notice
Something isn’t right

I used to cry with intense pain
Overwhelming emotions
That almost drove me insane

Now the tears no longer fall from my eyes
I no longer hide behind a mask
Living in disguise

I just stopped caring about it all
I used to be there to catch them 
And now I could care less if they fall

I used to have bonds I felt would never break
But I let them all go
And it didn’t even ache

I used to worry about what others thought and put myself last
But now I could care less
It’s all in the past

Memories which once haunted me I stopped thinking about
What once made me furious
No longer holds clout 

The people I loved most are no longer here
Why can’t I cry for them
Not even one tear? 

I used to engulf myself with insecurities and stress
I fixated on the smallest things
But I suddenly stopped caring less n less

Is it that my subconscious chooses to protect me from the pain which almost took my life?
Is that why I now wear heavy armor
Which protects my back from the knife

Those who once accompanied me one by one dwindled away
I let go of each one of them
Decided I liked it that way

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