Uptight

Upset and uptight Wound up and bound tight Broken inside Shards clasped against the inner of my skin’s pores Too small to fall out Broke but sheltered Broke but drunken on expensive red wine Covered in silk but ashamed This dress is all too glamorous Ashamed to define my privilege My privilege is not my privilege just an invite into their privilege A gift by the blood of my mother To a soiree I cannot leave nor do I want to Waiting on my own wealth, not hers My lack of, sounding like church bells not above the church But against my empty vessel Once full, insecurity asks me is it sounding too loud and should I quiet down Unnoticed, it emptied While I was running with the bulls While I slept with one eye open The wrong eye affixed on the wrong prize Clasped tight in the arms of the wrong enemy While I traded with the devil To buy back what could never be bought My life