Up and About, Feeling Empty

I feel rather empty…
Flushed, confused, free me?
I’m feeling kinda dirty
To be honest, I’m fake happy

Wearing a smile like the rest of us
But, there’s a million rivers and fires between us
So, don’t throw me under the bus

Or cuss me out or fuss me no doubt 
I’m choosing to feel nothing and it’s something I cannot do without
I somewhat want out
You know what I’m talking about
Yet,
I regret
Not walking His narrow route

But…

It’s cute, this emptiness
I like him…it’s a mess…
Yet, she is on my mind too?
I’m empty and blue, true

I feel…I deal with feelings…
For real…I steal away my appealings…
I don’t know how to feel
I don’t know what I’m going through
I don’t know how to deal
With being on a ship without any crew

What the hell is it called? Am I a child you want to abort?
I just feel too much, man…oh man…
I’m so appalled, crazy and humiliated, yet fallen short
Sinking sand feeling — I think I can

I can’t breathe 
Like holy moly…
I’m underneath
Feeling free and unfree
I can’t breathe
Like baby, please
I’m underneath
You and I can’t be full of glee
Or flee from the lack of feeling free
I agree
I’m lost and forevermore angry
Angsty to the core in a frenzy

Will I ever be free?
I feel empty and saturated in woe
I’m choking in fickle, false liberty
I feel like I’m bestowing blessings upon my hallow, uninhabited loneliness, you know? 

What will I show?
These feelings aglow?
Who knows…
What lies ahead, it’s so lame…
It blows…
That you’re ahead of the game
These feelings grow
What will I show?

I’m empty…vacant and meaningless
Not satisfied enough to run this race once more
I won’t be free…I look and feel like a mess
It’s so damn rough…that you defeated me and made me feel sore…
There is at least hope and healing in store

Can’t you see or understand
I’m not the sun under the sand?
Can’t you be vacantly lost with me and take my hand
And make me understand where I land…

I land in your horrendous heart of gold
I demand attention from the start
Behold, the truth is left entirely untold
You are my work of art, take heart

I’m a…wizard of lies…
Yet, you’re a wretched, beheaded witch…
I’m your son that you aborted long ago
You're that motherly figure that you confronted to the core
I’m done with your saturated, tainted woe
I’m feeling sore…I’m torn and forlorn, I abhor
This feeling to the deepest of the deepest shore

I’m abused to the point of no return
You let my flames burn, burn, burn
It’s your turn to shine
I’m so, so damn divine

There’s a sign up in the sky
I can’t deny…truth is but a lie
In my eyes of Aphradere…
I won’t shed a tear up in here
But I’m telling you…
I’m blue without you, who knew
I’d be loving you too…but I’m a broken, unrepairable tool or an infinitely behind student in school…unbearably uncool and as useless as stool…I’m like a stained wool against the clothing of the wise and wealthiest…
I haven’t a clue, I’m melting ice upon your skin and I’m not as invisibly nourishing as morning dew…I’m the acid rain or the bothersome gorilla glue upon your fingers of a fool at best

I’m actually feeling more or less 
I’m feeling too much to the point of feeling nothing anymore
I’m actually feeling sore in distress
I’m dealing too much to the point of feeling naught to the core

It’s so hard to make a living off of being a bard
Aboard with boredom and freedom far from reach
It’s so difficult to be in this righteous occult with you, father…never achieving any sort of award…kind of in a tough situation here, so discard me like an unread business card

I’m empty-handed,
What more you want?
I’m breeding dread
I’m a red kind of font…

I’m feeling at ease, but yet nervous 
I’m feeling feels of please…deliver us
From temptation…
From devastation…

Cuz I’m the aftermath of happiness
Cuz I’m the wrath of mere progress
Cuz I’m the wreath of sheer distress
Cuz I’m the blood bath of…unconciousness…
Sh, I am an insane asylum
I’m empty as hell, save me
Sh, I am a door of shammed shame and You’re the window to Your kindhearted Kingdom
I’m empty as empty is…I plea
Set my bondages liberty

I plea for the afterlife, baby
But, I’m empty…
Empty…
Empty…

It’s okay if you like her…
I mean, I’m empty as a blur
I’m so blue, it’s the things you do
It’s so true, you bring me satisfaction…too…

But, I’m an orphan boy
And you’re a memory…
…and I?
I’m empty,
Can’t deny
I’m delighted as can be…

Ascending as a whole
No longer a dumb crumb, succumbing to corruption’s tomb
In your filthy cereal bowl
No longer feeling a tingling sensation of…numb…I assume…

Copyright © | Year Posted 2023



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Date: 3/15/2023 6:37:00 PM
This is very well expressed and I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. Thanks for this and well done:
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Date: 2/24/2023 3:37:00 AM
No longer feeling a tingling sensation of…numb…I assume… A very powerful line here, often when life gives us nothing but pain we become numb. As we grow numb we throw away the baby with the bath water, we cannot feel the pain but we cannot feel the love either, I pray that you heal, and open the door to love agape, your always in God's graces, poet, always there is light, just touch it :)
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Date: 2/22/2023 11:31:00 PM
Love this poetry and I can relate.
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