Jannie Breedt Poet Free verse

Unwed

She sent me a lol on wattsapp
Please pass the ketchup

Mothership gliding in silent space
Umbilically us padded in shiny foil
Her face deflected in a fish bowl
Leaves only guessing about her thoughts
Lets dock Lets talk

Little ingots and tiny orbs
Suspended in the fluid of my sight
Just us against the world
Through the crackling and the static noise
Wincing hard to hear her voice

Her words a soggy sandwich
Pleading as my waning battery
But my head  wouldnt dock with my heart
And somehow we became unwed

She was my torment, I was her duty
Her virtue was the softer call
And that became her beauty
Ive become much softer now
But it doesnt work for me at all

A completed work a naughty boy
Indifferent now to watch me fall

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Connie Marcum Wong January 31, 2018 at 10:04 PM I love the metaphors in this piece Jannie. I hope this new year will be better than last, but weatherwise it might be worse. I wish you a happy year my friend. : ) Jannie Breedt January 31, 2018 at 11:21 PM We had some terrible heat and drought especially in Cape Town. The taps have now almost completely run dry and its critical. Its turned into a desert and wasteland there. Im in the north and only now did we get beautiful rain. Thank you for your kind wishes Connie. Im all good though

Andrea Dietrich January 4, 2018 at 1:07 AM Jannie, thanks for stopping by. We just lose contact with members here when there are so many. LIke the blog I just read about Keith , who has now passed away. I am not even aware of half the things going on with my poet friends.Anyway, this poem was very interesting. You have a great modern style of writing. Jannie Breedt January 4, 2018 at 3:30 AM Phew, thanks for clearing that up. I thought It was only me. Sorry about Keith. The further up you go the work becomes all encroaching. Thanks. But lets keep the dream alive

Lunita Blanca January 1, 2018 at 1:40 PM Jannie, there is always to sides to every feeling. We see things as WE are and not as THEY are. Nice write. Jannie Breedt January 1, 2018 at 11:33 PM Hey Carlos welcome here and your unambiguous comments is taken in the right spirit. You are right off course and it makes me think again. Thank you

Freddie Robinson Jr. December 26, 2017 at 7:12 AM I really vibe to this poem, Jannie. It's as if you spoke of my marital life behind sequestered closets. Your pen voice moves my spirit always ... forward towards elevated revelations. You are a beautiful shining spirit in a dark, dreary world. Majestic melancholy write. Pure poetry. Love and happy holidays to you. Jannie Breedt December 26, 2017 at 11:42 AM Jeeps, that might unlock something behind that closet. Your input highly valued.

CayCay Godwin December 20, 2017 at 12:34 PM I actually covet many of the lines in this write. I feel deep pain being written with sarcastic indifference mixed with defeat and a oh-who-cares anyway attitude. You spilled all that with intriguing, original Jannie wording. Compelling and forcefully gray. I don't get why people stay silent, have u been commenting to others? I hope - I want people to see this. I breathe easier now that I see you drove by Soup! Hugs ... CayCay Jannie Breedt December 20, 2017 at 1:43 PM Alas,I confess. I have not been active on soup. My mojo has gone to Iceland.whoa you beauty you. Your new avatar. I like. Pain yes hectic. Im consolidating here. Miss you stacks. Check your inbox silly