Unwanted Pony Ride

It always started with smiles welcome greetings confirming pick up times, to the walk towards the building, into the building into an apartment pretty well lit. The couch to the left, the room straight ahead down the hall. Boy 1 and boy 2's room all the way at the end of that short yet oh so long hall. Seemed so far away from that cold couch. I remember feeling comfortable at first because you are an adult, and you were supposed to look after my younger brother and I while my mom worked. I remember you scooting me over, the next thing I knew I was on your lap. You proceeded to speak to me in the tone in which you usually did; kind and persuasive. I didn't like the way your hot coffee stained air from your wrinkled lips escaped and covered my face. I was stuck in a cloud of your uncomfortable funk. I noticed you would move me around a lot and then your knees would move up and down, as if to act as though your legs were a pony and I was on top riding along. It seemed so comfortable and yet confusing. You moved me for a little bit and then got sweaty in your pants. I remember you moving me back to the couch and putting some money in my back pockets while whispering through your relieved smile " Don't tell my mom or your wife you gave me money ..shh our secret... That was the first of a few, unwanted pony rides. The next times you became more daring. Turning my face to yours, sticking your fat, wet, cold, nasty slimy threat in my mouth. Making it seem like it was an accident. Yet all the while, still proceeding to engage. Eventually I caught on to your rides. So when mom started allowing my younger sister to go, I was taking more rides than ever so she would never have to know. I will always hate you for the secrets I was told to keep, but especially for all the lies that covered up rides, I was not meant to repeat.