Christina Murray Poet Free verse

Untouchable

Some connections don’t come with clean edges
Ours was one of them
Messy, beautiful and unexpected

I’ve been carrying around the weight of an ache
Not the kind that wants to turn back time
But the kind that remembers how rare our friendship was 
Before it turned into something we didn’t plan for
And maybe we should’ve known better
Or maybe we just trusted too much in how easy was to feel close
We understood each other

I don’t regret knowing you the way I did
But sometimes I wish we would have held tighter to the part of us that wasn’t complicated
I miss the laughter that didn’t come with hesitation
And the comfort that wasn’t cautious

I guess I’m writing to say I’m sorry
For falling when neither of us meant to
For blurring lines that should’ve stayed clear

We didn’t mean to love each other like that

But we did

And we had to let it go

We’ve both moved on, grown up and built lives we should be proud of
I see you sometimes and I’m genuinely happy for all you’ve become

But if I’m honest
There’s still a part of me that misses my friend
Not the past and not the what ifs
Just the simple presence of you
But let’s face it, you were never a factor in my life I considered simple 

You mattered
You still do
In a softer, quieter way

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