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I let my mind think back to a time. A place where I can drift off, and be free. Laugh incessantly, heartbeats that sound like African drums, the clambering of the words love, happy, trust fallin' from our lips. I love these sweet memories, they can taint the saddest part of me. Back when I was free from this thing called heart break. Even in times of celebration I always feel the faint ache. The tears I cry are like acid rain. I gotta think back to happier times or I'll crumble. I'll fall for the world to see, not as strong of a girl I used to be. I always STUMBLE. With my head down I say that shamefully. There's a risk in love, a gamble you see. It's all smoke and mirrors until things get real. Realer than 5,000 soldiers standing ready, guns drawn—ready to attack. Can you imagine that? I'm going through an internal war. Battling feelings, feelings that are just that feelings. I wanna take these feelings and compress them into a ball, into the abyss they would flow. We can't always get what we want. I'd give anything to get that old thing back. Give my left arm to have me back. She's not ever returning, she'll never be the same. Next time I'm being extra careful, because if it happens again maybe it's me to blame. I'm tired of this pain. So, I let my mind think back to a time. A place where I can drift off, and be free. Laugh incessantly, heartbeats that sound like African drums, the clambering of the words love, happy, trust fallin' from our lips. I love these sweet memories, they can taint the saddest part of me.