Home » Poems » Kabuteng P.Ink K. » Untitled (Bright Flower Sparks)

Untitled (Bright Flower Sparks)

bright flower sparks
dazzle black tapestry...
wisps of smoke now



***July 2, 2010
written for Deborah's Fireworks contest :)

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 7/28/2012 7:01:00 PM

hey there, Nikko, thanks for the fave on that Bread poem. not one from which I would expect a fave, but I appreciate it. I sure do hope you will keep putting your new poems up for us here at Soup Please do not leave, pretty please.....

Daver Austin

Date: 7/10/2010 8:18:00 AM

Great image, Nikko. Love, Dave

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 7/10/2010 7:26:00 AM

Really like that "wasps of smoke" line, Nikko. Excellent haiku! Congratulations on your contest success. Must have missed this earlier -- was working on an assignment when it was posted. Love, Carolyn

Doris Culverhouse

Date: 7/9/2010 10:18:00 PM

pretty descriptions, enjoyed reading!!

Carol Sunshine Brown

Date: 7/6/2010 8:18:00 AM

Congratulations Nikko on your win in Deborah Guzzi's contest "Fireworks". Love, Carol

Gert W. Knop

Date: 7/6/2010 5:54:00 AM

Kaya maganda nakasulat, Nikko! Enjoyed reading you Haiku and my congrats on your 1st place!!! Yes, some fireworks really look like big coloured Flowers!...Lovely penned!...And thank you for your comments.Lahat ng mga pinakamahusay na!..:)Gert

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 7/5/2010 1:29:00 PM

WOWIE, Nikko, you got a GREAT win from Deb here. A big firecracker congrats to you! LUv, Andrea

Elaine George

Date: 7/5/2010 8:40:00 AM

Exactly!!!!! Sensational Haiku, Nikko. Congratulations on your well deserved first place. Love, Lainie

De R

Date: 7/5/2010 6:48:00 AM

Congrats on your first place win, nikko! I knew this was a winner from the first read!:) Emily

Linda-Marie Sweetheart

Date: 7/4/2010 6:19:00 PM

Congrats on your big first place win Nikko my sweet friend.. with this remarkabel Haiku for the Fireworks contest.. as I watch them now I say happy 4th to u and your big win.. with luv from the "Sweetheart" in Hawaii.. AlohA...

Ralph Taylor

Date: 7/4/2010 5:29:00 PM

Congrats on your first place. Great job. Ralph

Date: 7/4/2010 4:09:00 PM

Just wanted to drop by and add congratulations on your FIRST PLACE finish in Deborah's contest to my other comment. Great use of imagery. Well deserved honor! Enjoy! Karen

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 7/3/2010 11:10:00 PM

Yes, I see Chris' comment here. Deb is doing the conemporary rules. That is nice for people who are doing those kinds of haiku!

Grace Eunsong Lee

Date: 7/2/2010 10:44:00 PM

So delicate and pretty! Love your choice of words. Good luck in the contest! :) -Grace

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 7/2/2010 5:46:00 PM

okies...I likes wisps of smoke now....it seems a stronger emotion cut or juxtaposition...smooch..title ...bright flower sparks...line 1 bright flower sparks/dazzle black tapestry.../wisps of smoke now ( the... on line 2 indicate the cutting line!) GOOD work! HUZZAH!

De R

Date: 7/2/2010 9:46:00 AM

Great haiku,nikko! Fireworks sure are infinite sources of inspiration! Love the second line 'dazzle the black tapestry'. Good luck in the contest! Emily

Date: 7/2/2010 8:49:00 AM

Good use of imagery for a creative view. Best wishes in the contest. Thank you for choosing my poem as one of your winners. I am grateful for the opportunity. Karen

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 7/2/2010 7:31:00 AM

hi Nikko ,, here enjoying the sparks ,,hmmm but wheres the flower from your tittle,,,j.k. ,,..,..p.d.

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 7/2/2010 6:07:00 AM

Hey hon....I'd drop off the "ly" you don't need it and best to have a noun rather than an adjective. (I'm not doing a ridgid 5/7/5 count) put ... at the end of line 2 & trying not to use another "ing" word in line 3. It's almost there...line 3 is the weakest since it is to be the cutting line of the line of juxtapostion & could be something to bring forth a stronger sensory emotion? Remember it's fine to just disregard me...I'm a novice at this too!(PS GREAT on following the directions!!!!)

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 7/1/2010 10:10:00 PM

oooh, very cool image, nikko. Love it!

Sharon Tideswell

Date: 7/1/2010 7:19:00 PM

Nikko, this is a super haiku, each image rich line further develops, then completes the whole picture. Loved the 'black tapestry' and 'fading into smoke'. Best of luck in the contest ~ Sharon :)

Dr.Ram Mehta

Date: 7/1/2010 6:46:00 PM

A nice pen picture of the sky during the fireworks. Good luck in the contest.

Audrey Haick

Date: 7/1/2010 2:28:00 PM

A sparkling entry for the Fireworks contest, Nikko! Good luck and than you so much for reminding me about the title. I'm just rushing through. As usual, lots to do today! Peace, Audrey

Linda-Marie Sweetheart

Date: 7/1/2010 1:47:00 PM

I could see it now Nikko.. a lovely picture painted with your elegant words.. good luck in Debbie's contest... with luv from the "Sweetheart" in Hawaii.. AlohA..

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 7/1/2010 12:43:00 PM

Love the immagery, enjoyed your write,,, good luck on the contest...P.D.

Untitled (Bright Flower Sparks)

Post Comments

Please Login to post a comment

Member Area

Soup Social

Member Poems

Member Poets

Famous Poems

Famous Poets

Poetry Resources