Unscrewed

Unscrewed She led me upstairs where I’d sample her wares For a fee we had negotiated She looked pretty stunning, my heart it was gunning I longed for my lust to be sated She sat on her bed and she patted her head And that’s when she took off her wig Still she looked glam with her head bald as spam Though her forehead was really quite big I wasn’t recoiling, my ardour was boiling And this girl would not make me beg The saucy young flirt then slipped off her skirt I gasped when she whipped off a leg It beggared belief when she took out her teeth And then un-clipped her rubberised breast She popped out an eye and she laid it to dry With her ear in a purpose made rest I got a bit spooked, it was like she’d been nuked And I felt like I might come to harm I know that’s outrageous, she wasn’t contagious But then she unscrewed her left arm I sped from the room like a witch on a broom And I made a bee-line for the gate Upstairs a sound made me swivel around And I saw what was left of my date Monocular glares from her window upstairs She yelled, ‘There are more girls in town,’ ‘But you haven’t had yet, what you came here to get.’ I said, ‘No problem, just chuck it down.’