unsavoured

i fought it, once. i built whole walls out of promises, out of other people’s hands, out of mornings that almost felt real. but you’re here now, and i am tired. tired of pretending you aren’t the ruin i want. tired of pretending i can be anything else. she deserves better. he deserves better. i am not better. neither are you. you say hello, and it feels like the end and the beginning in the same breath. i could walk away. i could save them. i could save myself. but my hands are already reaching, and some part of me has been waiting to burn this whole time.

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