Unquotable Quotes: Lawyers - Xx
Unquotable quotes – Lawyers: XX
(No aspersions are willfully or otherwise cast on the honorable profession of the Law. Though I’m not a Barrister, I passed – through self-study – all the subjects at the Bar Examinations set by the Inns of Court School of Law, London, by 1956. And my knowledge of the practice of the law is derived from being compelled as a litigant nearly all my adult life.)
“The Law is an Ass” for lawyers often squat on the Ass.
“Only a fool goes to court without a lawyer”, yet only a nincompoop/dumbkopf/retardé mental will go to court – period!
When lawyers get together, they talk Culture, the commodity they most wish they could own.
Whenever you are in the presence of an unsuccessful lawyer, be truly aware you’re in the presence of the next President of the Republic.
The first time you walk into a lawyer’s chambers as a client, you’ll be convinced there’s such a thing as Divine Justice. Then on, you’ll walk the plank without being pushed.
Notice how when lawyers go on strike, the breast of the Lady of the Balance of Justice heaves more freely and gently.
Never ever lend an ear to the suggestion that lawyers all should be put on the government’s payroll: this is worse than downright blasphemy.
If you have plenty of money and you don’t know what to do with it, then go see a lawyer – he’ll help you be free of it.
Remember, from the very moment you walk into a lawyer’s chambers, you put yourself at his service twenty-four hours a day preparing your case – for him.
Always remember when you go to see a lawyer with your case: you want to put a stop to a life-threatening nuisance; lawyers don’t ever want that to end.
When a lawyer tells you to do something, always make certain you DID it.
Marry a lawyer and you’ll most certainly make an appearance in the dock for something you have not done.
Always choose a lawyer of the opposite sex in your divorce case: (s)he’ll aid and abet you in your wrong-doing for the purpose of first-hand evidence.
Don’t forget that the time you spend in a lawyer’s office is 90% used up with personal calls under the guise of in-coming calls from other clients, but you foot the bill for all.
The more famous a lawyer is, the more schooled is he in the art of losing cases with oratory and panache.
Do not wonder why the crucial documents you gather at great expense for your defence - at the request of lawyers – somehow never get mentioned or produced during a trial or hearing.
A lawyer who takes on more than he can chew always turns up late for the hearing/audience/trial – only to ask for a postponement.
Some lawyers oddly enough forget on whose side they are pleading their case – much to their own surprise when the judgment is handed down.
Don’t ever forget that the lawyers’ own disciplinary boards are elected by their own ilk.
Lawyers don’t marry lawyers for fear that the divorce case might last longer than the marriage.
Is the solicitor (in England) a tout between the barrister and the client?
Lawyers are never guilty of negligence or ignorance even if their clients are obliged to appeal the lower court judgment.
How many crimes get to be committed in the actual deliberations and formulations of procedures in cases? Has anyone made a count?
How many the billions who simply let torts, crimes and wrong-doing submerge them – day in and day out – without respite?
Everybody knows the bigger the name, the bigger the lawyer’s fees. The more money you have, the better your chances of getting off the hook.
When an innocent man is condemned, who is to blame? The prosecution? The Bench? Or the lawyers? Or all? Do they ever pay?
Legal aid is another form of grudged hate.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2016.
Copyright © T Wignesan | Year Posted 2016
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