Andrea Dietrich Poet Quatern

Notes About The Poem

For the 'Pick-A-Title, Vol. 41' Poetry Contest

Sponsor: Edward Ibeh

Date: Feb. 1, 2024

Undone

He's left me. I'm coming undone -
like linen on a spinning wheel
much in need of still being spun.
Half-cloth, I'm feeling unreal.

In need of completion, I'm lost.
He's left me. I'm coming undone.
as if to brusque winds I've been tossed.
i seek a sweet breeze. There are none.

His touch, like the warmth of the sun,
is gone. Only blackness i see.
He's left me. I'm coming undone.
Dark waters are swallowing me.

He gave me no cause for mistrust.
Vibrant was i when we'd begun.
But now I am turning to dust.
He’s left me. I’m coming undone.

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Shane Thacker February 11, 2024 at 11:16 AM This is sorrowful but beautiful. Your words elegantly expressed a great deal of heartache. Amazing poem, Andrea.

Edward Ibeh February 11, 2024 at 5:53 AM Congratulations on your win in my contest with this emotionally raw, powerful write, Andrea. Really well done!

I Am Anaya February 9, 2024 at 10:13 AM Such sorrows when love departs. I'm mostly glad that this is fiction, Andrea. Congratulations on your win! btw I answered your question on my Paper Kingdom, I hope you come back by, it's interesting how it completes the full circle.

Duke Beaufort February 3, 2024 at 8:08 AM This expresses grief in an poignant way. OMG, I've used the same word as Joseph May below....but it's a perfect description of what you've done here. I am thinking the feeling you generate here could apply to loss of many different kinds. That is a striking accomplishment. Identification of the arrows to the heart.

Joseph May February 2, 2024 at 10:57 AM A poignant write Andrea, sometimes things start out vibrant and then it goes wrong

James Peranteau February 2, 2024 at 4:37 AM this iz probably the most...nope, i'm sure uv it; this iz the most melancholic write i've read! Great work dear poet! Sneaky you, your title pulled me in...now i'm gonna have to write sum luv'n tuh rinse this awesome write right outtuh my head :] much love vooman ')

Robert Schatz February 2, 2024 at 12:43 AM It's exquisite Andrea. The first stanza, is absolutely breath taking...

Daniel Henry Rodgers February 1, 2024 at 6:10 PM Dear Andrea, Oh, the ache of heartbreak and the unraveling of self. You describe emptionally a picture of loss and longing. Even in the midst of darkness, there's strength in acknowledging your feelings and your poem does just that. Blessings, Daniel

Paige Hind February 1, 2024 at 5:50 PM You did this form well. An enjoyable read!

Eve Roper February 1, 2024 at 5:41 PM Great write, Andrea. The question you asked on my pome It’s in Charles Messina contest

Bill Baker February 1, 2024 at 4:52 PM That would make a good country western song if you added a dog somewhere. :-) Seriously, good entry for the contest Andrea. The repetition was good for emphasis. Have a great day, my friend. Bill

Silent One February 1, 2024 at 11:31 AM The flow in this one is really good.. Nice idea for the contest and the meter is really good..

Ink Empress February 1, 2024 at 11:12 AM Ah dear andrea i just posted a dark quatern too but i was too lazy to rhyme: you rhyme so effortlessly! I just love this! Especially “ dark waters are swallowing me” and “ But now I am turning to dust. He’s left me. I’m coming undone.” Soul hitting really! You are such a brilliant poet! I admire your way with words truly! Best wishes for the contest

Frank Sheehan February 1, 2024 at 10:58 AM Wonderful piece. Great imagery. Heartfelt and moving.

Jay Narain February 1, 2024 at 9:53 AM Nice emotional poem. Best wishes for contest.

Hiya Sharma February 1, 2024 at 9:07 AM This is such a heartfelt and emotive write, dear Andrea.. You've expressed the vulnerability and fragility with a profound depth..so many soul-stirring feelings have been knitted intricately within this quatern.. When love fades and vanishes to oblivion, nothing, but ashes remain..an exquisite take for the contest. Sending many best wishes and light to you..

Victor Buhagiar February 1, 2024 at 8:46 AM There are more fish in the sea. (a Maltese poem). Your poem is beautiful for the emotions you evoke and the use of a metaphor for a spinning wheel. Hugs.