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Undertow

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The Great Escape - The Birds - Charade - The Fugitive, The Twilight Zone It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World- Civil rights, Viet Nam The Beatles begged to hold my hand The day was young and so was I My eyes were focused inward, never far my own home In the tides where I swam, the shoreline seemed far from my door The morning broke, and all was well. Just me alone with Jack LaLane, A new routine to start the day. The seas were calm within the room I was swimming on the floor, lifting legs, breathing hard until…..until…..until Abruptly, as the static rose, Jack soon transformed into fuzzy snow An anchored voice would pull me down, as if a wave was drowning me Cronkite appeared with solemn eyes, he cleared his throat, and took a breath I searched within his trademark psalm to calm the storm that whirled around But none was found. As he kept control, he let the wounded words unfold I begged for him to change the tide, but magnitude too great to own The undertow was understood. The day was bright, with amber light. Leaves drifted down as they must do Football games, a dance that night. Holidays had been conceived But life and death were thick as thieves, giving lungs no time to breathe No hit parades, no silver screen, charades, escapes or Hitchcock tales. An unrelenting undertow had swept the ground beneath my feet I remember how the day was born, intended for a different end Ringo, George, Paul and John .. was there someone there to hold my hand? No great escape. I had to drown. It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World _______________________________________________

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013




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Date: 9/3/2022 4:56:00 PM
Carrie, this is another one of my favorites in your book... the gravitas of the events couched in the bits and pieces of daily life; Jack LaLanne, football games, holiday plans makes for a stark contrast which like a Rembrandt painting focuses attention all the more on the subject of the assassination that changed our lives. Love the 60's references to set the scene, and how you bookend you poem with the Beatles song and the movie titles to underscore your point. And "Undertow", what a great word to sum it all up. This is craftsmanship of the highest order. Well done, going in my Faves ~ John
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Carrie Richards
Date: 9/3/2022 5:45:00 PM
Your comments are so very kind, and appreciated, John. Thank you very much. And again, many thanks for supporting our book of poetry. I'm honored :)
Date: 8/3/2013 11:01:00 AM
Carrie, What a stark reminder of an event that will become one of those we will always remember where we were when first we heard the news....Congratulations on your win... Always love ya.... Jake
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Date: 8/1/2013 2:05:00 PM
Wow!This is like a melody,it sings and then it imprints a memory that is hard to describe in words.No wonder it won hands down.
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Date: 7/30/2013 2:50:00 AM
WOW Carrie reads so beautifully. Always intrigued by your poetry. A big congrats on the win *smiles* Ron
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Date: 7/29/2013 10:16:00 PM
Wow. you have me speechless. ~Soup Mail~
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Date: 7/29/2013 9:11:00 PM
excellent piece....congrats on your win
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Date: 7/29/2013 8:18:00 PM
hi Carrie and congrats on your win Shadow x smiles
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Date: 7/29/2013 6:31:00 PM
Fantastic realistic writing. Congrad's on your fine verse winning! Light & Love
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Date: 7/19/2013 10:34:00 AM
Almost a double terza rima, huh? Must have taken quite some time with all the extra rhymes! I thought a shorter one was hard enough. I see you have written a sad one as well. I wonder if the form is particularly suited to sad poems.
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Date: 7/17/2013 1:05:00 PM
Reads like a winner to me..Good luck in the contest..I need to look this form up and see how it is done..I can't remember if I have written one of these...Thanks for the visit to my work..Your comments are uplifting.Sara
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Date: 7/17/2013 12:41:00 PM
Excellent use of connotations . Enjoyed this dramatic free verse.
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Date: 7/17/2013 12:08:00 PM
you are a most skillfull story teller, this piece drips with emotion.
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Date: 7/17/2013 12:03:00 PM
deep emotions run through this well written Shadow x smiles
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Date: 7/17/2013 7:03:00 AM
I like the imagery feel I get from this poem.Which I thought was a fine write.
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Date: 7/16/2013 5:38:00 PM
Wow Carrie I belie you have a winner here. An outstanding Terza Rima. Much poetic talent is conveyed in this poem. Warm Smiles, Connie
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Date: 7/16/2013 5:01:00 PM
Very cool poem, my friend, enjoyed a lot. If for contest, wish you good luck. Loved always, bl
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Date: 7/16/2013 4:54:00 PM
Carrie what a professional piece of writing this is....wow!!!!! ..I'm speechless
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Date: 7/16/2013 4:50:00 PM
oooh, what a winning poem I see this becoming!!! GREAT job with the form, Carrie!
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Date: 7/15/2013 7:49:00 PM
"With Cronkite calm"...damn. November is my favorite month of the year. Thanksgiving + my b-day! Once again, your atmosphere & setting are INSTANT! Fantastic ending!
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Carrie Richards
Date: 7/15/2013 7:53:00 PM
Thank you Drake !! I'll be listening tomorrow to your next live show!! :)

Book: Reflection on the Important Things