Nette Onclaud Poet Elegy

Unbecoming

long scarf of a night
 clasping the bracelet of a moon,
 what emptiness is this when i have you not near?
 the distance of a thousand galaxies collecting stars
 unbinds me,
 when once i could tumble upon your
 nape so bronze
 as if there to fly
 swept by every lingering breath
 borrowing some endless moaning of time:
 a stewing chorus of sacred yet raw vignettes
 coming together then parting...
 farewell, a few more steps closer
and i shall disown my soul and bones under
 the cloud's dark awning
 to  silently memorize your fading eyes
 entombed in the burial of an unbecoming night.


.............



Contest Form-E of Broken Wings
Originally written: 1/23/2014
Reposted: 1/24/2017

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Alexis Y. January 24, 2017 at 5:59 PM WoW! Nette, What a well written write. One sense a profound loneliness within this write. Congratulations on your fine win . It was well deserved: -) Alexis

Janis Medders Tobechi January 24, 2017 at 4:30 PM This looks like a top winner. It must have been hard to judge this contest. Congrats on a fine, unique elegy.

Darren Watson March 5, 2014 at 7:20 AM I know that feeling of loneliness only too well. Expertly done nette.

Donna Jones January 30, 2014 at 6:05 PM Hey....stopped in to say hello and enjoy this marvelous poem....exceptional...looks like it won a contest...I'm so behind....but may live after all....finally..:-) :-)

Bl Devnath January 26, 2014 at 9:07 AM Fantastic expression of feeling from the core of the heart. Congrats on your win, my lovely friend. Loved always, bl

Richard Lamoureux January 24, 2014 at 7:08 PM You certainly captured the mood. Another exceptional piece.

Roger Horsch January 24, 2014 at 9:39 AM I love to see you at the top Nette, Congrats on a wonderful win....Hugs...Roger

Kelly Deschler January 23, 2014 at 10:58 PM Sometimes, being alone can feel like you have just been isolated by death and darkness. Though this is a very sad poem about loneliness, it is expressed just beautifully. An amazing write, Nette!...Thank you so much for the kind and heartfelt comments. :)

Dr. Upma A. Sharma January 23, 2014 at 10:35 PM Highly touchy !! Very well expressed Netty !!

Carrie Richards January 23, 2014 at 8:16 PM I am speechless once again.......this is breathtaking!!

Dr.Ram Mehta January 23, 2014 at 7:59 PM Enjoyed the write on loneliness and congrats on the fine win, nette

Jack Horne January 23, 2014 at 3:25 PM awesome write, Nette

Manny Paras January 23, 2014 at 1:35 PM Geez this is such a tearful poem written beautifully. The yearning scrapes the heart.I'm thankful for yourcontest results.All the best, Nette!

Ken Carroll January 23, 2014 at 1:06 PM Hi Nette, Awesome romantic write..

Anne-Lise Andresen January 23, 2014 at 11:33 AM Although the topic is sad, you get it to become so beautiful with your words sparkle like the most beautiful diamonds - I could never get a sad theme to be so beautiful - Proficient my friend, Nette. Good luck? ... no it is not necessary .... It will be HOT!! - oxox // Anne-Lise :) Franco Gonza January 23, 2014 at 12:41 PM kissy is sooo cute, anne... i have a dachsund, what kind of pup is she?.. huggs Anne-Lise Andresen January 23, 2014 at 11:34 AM - My new puppy 8 weeks old - She's really cute - Named "Kissy" - :)

Sara Kendrick January 23, 2014 at 8:42 AM Reads like a winner to me..Great work filled with emotion..Thanks for the visits to page..Thanks for the honor of placing in your contest..I enjoyed writing that one..It totally captivated my attention for awhile..Sara

Eileen Manassian January 23, 2014 at 7:41 AM Nette....one if your absolute best....This really resonated in my soul....Hugs

Cyndi Macmillan January 23, 2014 at 7:35 AM I'm being pulled out the door, breakfast, library, groceries.. read very quicly your soupe... will write back latere... love you !!!

Tim Smith January 23, 2014 at 6:56 AM I love the lines "swept by every lingering breath borrowing some endless moaning of time" . This a very moving piece. Thanks for sharing. Tim

Russell Sivey January 23, 2014 at 6:52 AM This is a perfect display of what loneliness is truly like my friend! I am so very impressed by your extreme talent Nette, you are still the one on the site that excites my senses with delight and intrigue! I really enjoyed reading this enlightening poem this morning! What a fabulous piece, Great Work!!

Carly Lalion January 23, 2014 at 5:52 AM Unbelievably wrenching in a haunting way. This grips me, chokes me; I don't know what else to say.How terrrific can you get!