Ulster - county hokum

  mighty Finn MacCool, fierce Antrim lad
  slung sling-shot Samson right off his pad
  shattered mindsets, tilted clocks
  swiped Goliath in the docks
  gargantuan giants going mad

  Armagh apple girl, any topic
  she star gazed past the misanthropic
  vantage point, two cathedrals
  Gullion top, polyhedrals
  planetarium, telescopic

  clever Cavan man miles from the sea
  found the Shannon source down on one knee
  tiny trickle, goodness sake
  then a torrent, then a lake
  in Breffni county coarse fish are free

  one from London, the other, Derry
  these two wee men were very hairy
  bendy bridge across the Foyle
  peaceful city soon to spoil
  their Sperrin looks were very scary

  there was an eejit from Donegal
  climbed up Muckish, had a great fall
  the scree slopes of Errigal
  still alive, it's a miracle
  his Malin head had no sense at all

  surly curly kid from county Down
  lost in the drumlins wearing a frown
  city edge, mountains of Mourne
  disappeared where he was born
  by Strangford narrows acting the clown

  wily Fermanagh wench kept two men
  each was called Ernie from way back when
  overhead in their flying boats
  spied her flashing petticoats
  ocean in sight, they fell short again

  most mysterious Monaghan boy
  sibling Virginia, she was his joy
  dressed up in his sister’s clothes
  sexy Clones, no one knows
  'cept over the border, Auchnacloy

  Tyrone joker a champion be
  chalk in pocket he could hardly see
  bendy cue, whipped their asses
  fifteen balls, such big glasses
  all for his ma and a tidy fee
Copyright © | Year Posted 2025

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Kendrick Avatar
February 3, 2026 at 6:57 AM
Creative work from the man from the UK. Which part of the UK? Thanks for sharing this one with us. Sara K
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