Ulster - county hokum
mighty Finn MacCool, fierce Antrim lad
slung sling-shot Samson right off his pad
shattered mindsets, tilted clocks
swiped Goliath in the docks
gargantuan giants going mad
Armagh apple girl, any topic
she star gazed past the misanthropic
vantage point, two cathedrals
Gullion top, polyhedrals
planetarium, telescopic
clever Cavan man miles from the sea
found the Shannon source down on one knee
tiny trickle, goodness sake
then a torrent, then a lake
in Breffni county coarse fish are free
one from London, the other, Derry
these two wee men were very hairy
bendy bridge across the Foyle
peaceful city soon to spoil
their Sperrin looks were very scary
there was an eejit from Donegal
climbed up Muckish, had a great fall
the scree slopes of Errigal
still alive, it's a miracle
his Malin head had no sense at all
surly curly kid from county Down
lost in the drumlins wearing a frown
city edge, mountains of Mourne
disappeared where he was born
by Strangford narrows acting the clown
wily Fermanagh wench kept two men
each was called Ernie from way back when
overhead in their flying boats
spied her flashing petticoats
ocean in sight, they fell short again
most mysterious Monaghan boy
sibling Virginia, she was his joy
dressed up in his sister’s clothes
sexy Clones, no one knows
'cept over the border, Auchnacloy
Tyrone joker a champion be
chalk in pocket he could hardly see
bendy cue, whipped their asses
fifteen balls, such big glasses
all for his ma and a tidy fee
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