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Twas the Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas when I and my groom finally found a motel but with just one room. My groom was in the bathroom - leaving me alone- so that he could douse himself with some cheap cologne. I - in my red negligee - thought of bump and grind, visions of his sugar plums dancing in my mind. Then a noise I heard outside gave me such a fright! who was out there in the snow on our special night? Opening our small room’s door, I felt like a goof. It was just an icicle falling off the roof. Then I felt a sudden breeze. One unlucky bride! As the door behind me shut, I was locked outside. When upon my motel door I began to pound, it was clear that my dear groom did not hear a sound. Right before my startled eyes, what should then appear? Someone dressed as Santa Claus, filling me with fear! His eyes, though not so cheery, lit up, seeing me as he crossed the street and came stumbling drunkenly. I stood helpless, trembling in scanty siren red when an icicle fell down clunking my poor head. I revived in the ER, thong still on my rump! Underneath my bandage was an enormous lump. Thankfully my groom was there, smelling of Old Spice. But we’d have no chance to give gifts naughty and nice. At our room I later saw Santa Claus was there - that same guy who’d seen me in sexy underwear. Having seen my accident he’d informed my groom right before he then collapsed stone drunk in our room. Santa on our honeymoon with cheeks rosy red, (but not one “Merry Christmas”), stole our wedding bed. 12/8/12 Now used for Joseph May's The Night Before Christmas Poetry Contest

Copyright © | Year Posted 2012




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Date: 12/12/2018 12:22:00 AM
Enjoyed this thoroughly! Blessings and sincerest congratulations for your win in Joseph's fun Christmas contest, Andrea - I pray you and yours have a happy and healthy holiday season! Keep the ink flowing, my friend! :-) <3
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Date: 12/9/2018 7:57:00 PM
Too funny, Andrea! Congratulations on top win!
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Date: 12/9/2018 5:23:00 PM
Wow, Pornetry Soup... Sugar plums.... aren’t they some kind of fairy? Well done Andrea, congrats.
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Date: 12/9/2018 3:21:00 PM
so good to read this again Andrea lol:-) hugs Jan xx
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Date: 12/9/2018 9:41:00 AM
SO....SO GOOD ANDREA....LMAO
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Date: 12/9/2018 5:38:00 AM
Soooo funny...Congratulations on your top win, Andrea.
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Date: 12/9/2018 1:19:00 AM
Hilarious, Andrea! Your story unfolded so wittily in verse. Congratulations on your first place in Joseph's contest! Hugs, Carolyn
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Date: 12/8/2018 7:08:00 PM
Congratulations for your win :)
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Date: 12/29/2015 10:41:00 PM
Sad but bringing chuckles. Congratulations. Love, Joyce
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Date: 12/29/2015 7:19:00 PM
Hi Andrea: Very clever and verrry funny! Congrats on your win!
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Date: 12/29/2015 6:17:00 PM
ANDREA, Congratulations on your nice win. Enjoy the coming year..... SKAT
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Date: 12/28/2015 9:05:00 PM
LOLOLOLOL!! Oh my! Tears from laughing.. funniest thing I've read in a long time! lol I so enjoyed that, I can't tell you enough. Hilarious!
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Date: 12/28/2015 6:39:00 PM
Congratulations on the placement of the contest Andrea.
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Date: 12/28/2015 6:33:00 PM
Andrea what a story. lol. Loved this Andrea Santa was so lucky to see that beauty queen. Congratulations on your clever write.
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Date: 12/28/2015 12:22:00 PM
Hilarious I laughed out loud reading this one again:-) congrats:-) hugs Jan xx
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Date: 12/28/2015 12:06:00 PM
Very clever and creative Andrea! I loved this!1 -luloo *smiles*
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Date: 12/28/2015 8:57:00 AM
Haha... very funny Andrea...Congrats on your win
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Date: 12/11/2014 11:52:00 AM
Congratulations on your win with this fun poem Andrea
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Date: 12/10/2014 10:47:00 AM
I remember this one from last year! I recycled one, too. Should have been higher, but hey, I got an HM for the pie poem, too. PS contest placements are like Forrest Gump's box of chocolates, I guess.
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Date: 12/9/2014 6:55:00 PM
this did make me laugh Andrea - many congrats:-) hugs Jan xx
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Date: 12/23/2013 2:41:00 PM
Not too spicy after all the warning, just sugar plums and g-strings, maybe a PG-13. Fun story!
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Date: 7/24/2013 4:18:00 PM
Yes, this is funny Petal, it's like a situation comedy, don't know if the adult warning was needed though lol as the story was actually sexless lol. Take care, Richard
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Richard D Seal
Date: 7/24/2013 4:20:00 PM
Interesting images lol
Date: 1/8/2013 4:44:00 PM
Andrea, , congratulations in Kim's "Here We Go A Caroling " contest.. a fun poem with flow... always~ PD
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Date: 1/8/2013 2:45:00 PM
Lovely and beautiful piece,Andrea...I love this write...Congrats on your well deserved win...Kudos to you,my dear friend...
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Date: 1/8/2013 10:30:00 AM
[cough] ;) Conrad's on your win. Light & Love
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