Truth Is Pt I

I thrive on putting my emotions up for show so go ahead window shop I don't mind, maybe one day I'll draw the line instead of tracing how I should react, reminiscing on sin how I did relapse, I can't take back what I did or said so right now this is me after the aftermath of me making my bed. Truth is, all of this Radicalism as a Christian I'm bout it that's a given, What's the worst that can happen to me, Death? I'm still a misfit on death row with no death sentence. Where they do that @ in the Kingdom of Heaven so I count it all joy if I'm worthy to endure persecution, getting beat severely and arrested I'm married to the King sin tried to separate and divorce us but Christ Jesus contested it, second...my track record as far as relationships goes is Pretty low, so truthfully speaking I gotta good resume but that's all for show. I don't know if I ever will find the one that God has for me, his timing is perfect emotionally I'm hurting I gotta heart condition what I really want is a surgeon. I'm not one of those Americans who think I'm deserving of love, but Christ gave me that ever since the day I was born, so I been searching for just that in the feminine form, funny right? I put it on display but brokenness is the last thing they expect, I've done some women wrong, lead them on but still I live this life with no regrets, with this one I refuse to let up this is the real me I removed the mask, I hate bringing, thinking about, or even dreaming about my past, it's past tensed and some moments are Pretty intensed, I say I'm ready for true love to commence but everyone has flaws even me, how ironic I guess I'm the one all along who's really been on the fence, I wanna take the good without the bad because in all actuality I believe this world still hasn't phased me