Too Far Gone

I try to ignore emotions that I feel. The ones that you hope will die But they are unfortunately so real, I tell myself, its getting easier, but it is a lie. I look at the life that surrounds me now, and I know it is not as it should be. It continues moving on, I am not sure how, because it is moving on without me. How do you go about pausing your life even for just a little while? While you cut through pain slice by slice, and when done, start up again with style. I have tried for years to accept, the things that I can't change. But I have also learned not to expect, anything, that I myself did not arrange. Have I given up, is this my fate? I have struggled with this too long. Am I too consumed with hate? Is there hope, or am I too far gone? If only there were easy answers to the questions that seem to haunt me. I want to know what I can do, to live my different life and feel free?