Too Close Am I

I shattered my own heart, Wrecking balls, tumbling decisions, It fell upon me too late, Forever and now I will lose what I held so dear, But I held it out at arms length, I let it fall, the uncurling my fingers, Sinking into an emotional seat that engulfs me, I so desperately buried the threat, Happy once, I have not forgotten, The taste of joy upon my lips still, How could one ever forget the ecstasy that is happiness, For we all seek it within the nil, Berserk and rampant in my head, A beast set loose upon my mental state, So silent am I, my comfort so walks away, So silent I can hear the screams echo within the blank, Damp and dark are my thoughts of late, Cramped tight inside, no prison break, Hoping to find my way, Before fear swallows me in regret, And I become lost in my own wake.