Tom the Brainless Baker

Got a great recipe For cheescake... Decided to make it once... My experience was to show me I really am a dunce... First I had to whip cream cheese I threw it in a bowl, Took out my trusty mixers And thrust it in the hole The cream cheese was cold, The mixers started to smoke, I guess I should have been told Let it warm up or you will choke The mixers got hot, the smoke got thick, Though not thicker than my head A flame shot out, I threw them down A bit more and I'd be dead So now it became a manual thing An exhaused soon was I I started to wish, for God's sake, Why didn't I just buy a pre-baked pie? Some time later I had to seperate the eggs, The yokes from the white, I knew I was in trouble, For baking at all that night... Now it said to "fold-in" the egg whites, I looked at this quite dismayed How does one "fold" such a thing? I now knew I should have prayed... I should have read these instructions first, I should have known I was too dumb, To understand a baker's ways My brain was surely numb I scratched my head and wondered How I was supposed to fold This gooey messy slop, I should have been pre- told. I stared at the bowl for half an hour My demeanor becoming ever more dour My first attempt and here I was, My bakery career already becoming sour... So I called six friends, Until I found Someone to illuminate me This would be the last home-made cheesecake, That anyone would surely see. So if you need a wedding cake, Napoleon is at the oven And if you wish an eclair, You must supply me with the ec.... And if you think I'll bake for you I'll wring your scrawny neck!