Today-Ifl

I Feel Like- IFL I feel like i’m not alive today I feel like i’m dead today and i don't know when or how i'll come back My body is a husk of the person i was yesterday Yesterdays body becomes sour and corroded and rotten as she festers and rots away I don't know what happened to her That pretty girl from yesterday She cries and cries and cries as her body becomes spoiled and decomposes faster than any other organism Her body is rotten it is not whole I need to know how to fix her i have to help her It's cruel, what i do. I do not help her At all I live in this body, her body, And i do not help I shouldn't be allowed in here In this body I need to leave this body, the body that is far past sour. This corroded and rotten body How can something that was left out overnight decay so quickly She is scared, This girl from yesterday, She is terrified and i don't even know if she knows why The girl is afraid. She doesn't know how to be okay anymore, she doesn't know how to fix things so she cries and cries and cries even more. She wants to be small again, to be young and unafraid of time and the world. She wants to be 5 years old again. Running around her friend's backyard with a crappy net and a small plastic jar catching glowbugs. She wants to feel this joy again. The joy of innocence. She wants to feel good again. She doesn't know how to feel good. I don't know how to feel good i don't know how to help her i don't know what to do at all i don't knowidontknowidontknowidontknow Its quiet In this body I've started to rot too Alongside the girl And maybe this is okay, to be rotten I look at the girl and she looks at me I reach out and hold her face in my hands I don't wipe away the tears, I just hold her. I tell her that it's okay. I tell her that im proud of her I tell her that she can cry for as long as she needs. I tell her that she is strong and that she is brave. She is not weak, it is okay to cry It is okay for her to be dead today It is okay for her to rot She's allowed to rot there's nothing wrong with that Im allowed to rot and there's nothing wrong with that We can both rot together and it's okay. We’re not alive today Were both dead and rotting Husks of what we were the days before and we rot together We sob together as our bodies become sour As our bodies corrode and fester Maybe i'm alive now Maybe back down to earth now the pretty girl is back now She has dried her tears now I think im alive again I think, just maybe, Maybe we're not dead anymore.