To the End and Back Again

No one really knows why I am the way I am. To know me, you'll have to go back in time. You'll have to go back 7 years ago when I was 10 years old and find out that my life was far from normal. Do you want to know why I am so truly messed up? If so, keep reading. If not, you are on the wrong page. I was 10 years old when I met a girl named Jania. I didn't know how much she would mean to me when I met her. Since I was 10, she was the only one who was ever truly there for me. I went to my towns BBQ with her and bumped into one of her friends. His name was Connor and he did NOT look like one of the guys that lived in my town. He was dressed in all black with his lack hair draped over his dark eyes. We started talking and realized that we had more in common then we had originally thought. He invited us over to hang out with his other friends, that's where I met his sister, Jessica. She was perfect and we soon started dating. She was everything I ever wanted and she stole my heart. She was my world and she showed me things that I never thought would be possible. I was amazed at how fast I fell in love with her. Jessica and Connor moved into an apartment in the city together after their mother got re- married for the fourth time. It was her mother's phone call that pushed Jessica over the edge. No one knows exactly what was said, but they know it was about her being with me. Jessica stormed out of her apartment and started to walk to my house to come see me. She was hit by a drunk driver and died on the sidewalk in her brother's arms at 14 years old. I didn't know what happened when Connor showed up at my house at 2:00 am. With his head hanging lower then I've ever seen it, Connor pressed a small gold necklace in the palm of my hand, Jessica's. I had never seen Connor cry before that night when we melted into each others arms, but the whole time it was happening, all I could think about was Jessica. I can still feel her holding me. I can see her smile and her bright eyes. I can smell her perfume and I can still taste her lips on mine. I was the only person that Connor would talk to. I knew that Connor would never be the same. I didn't hear from Connor for a while. I went to his apartment to check up on him and found him hanging from the staircase. I called the police and told them that 2 suicides had been committed. I was going to be the second one. CONTINUED IN PART 2