Heidi Sands Poet Free verse

To Speak Or Not To Speak

*Do you think victims of abuse have the right to speak or should they stay silenced?
*I believe in the right to speak and the courageous who can bring positive change!
So here goes:

I don’t know, was it the checkers shoved in my mouth, the dragging of me across the lawn?
I don’t know, was it the beating, the suffocating or my friend’s last breath?
I don’t know, was it the not protecting me from other perpetrators?
Or was it the locking me in the cellar, verbally blaming me as a child?
I don’t know, was it the abandonment as a teen, then more blame and insults?
Was it using the family to hurt me more, by manipulating them?
What did I do to you?  Nothing.  I was a child!
So, what hurts the most?  I don’t know.
The endless betrayal as an adult, now stealing my writing, stalking, not leaving me alone?
*Maybe, it is the refusal to acknowledge anything, to open the door for forgiveness?*
*I don’t know, but there is a God and he knows and he has something to say!*

Heidi Sands

1/6/19

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Gershon Wolf January 7, 2019 at 6:44 PM I'm afraid there's no understanding pure evil. It just needs to be combatted and struck down by whatever means necessary. You're right. One must speak up and stand up and fight it. Only then, does Goodness have a chance. :) gw Heidi Sands January 7, 2019 at 6:52 PM That's true Gershon. The full lack of conscience is just impossible to understand. I do believe in speaking up and fighting it, so goodness can have a chance. Thank you very much for your understanding comment :)

Bette Bavington January 6, 2019 at 3:28 PM It is always better to speak up. When my child told me I didn't blame the child. I tried to do everything in my power to make sure she was safe. No child should have this done to them. It ruins their life. I am glad you can talk about it. I will keep you in my prayers. Heidi Sands January 6, 2019 at 3:34 PM I agree. Thank you so much Bette. The actions you describe taken are admirable and life saving. I appreciate your kindness, support and prayers ! :)

CayCay Godwin January 6, 2019 at 3:25 PM Oh, the poem dilemma; is that fact or fiction? does the writer want me to speak to the facts or the write itself? I don't know and I'm quite emotional after the read so logic is temporarily turned off. FACTS: everything done has everything to with the adult's perceptions and NAUGHT to do with the child he/she doesn't deserve. The WRITE; moves and stirs readers to appropriate uncomfortableness. I leave here, as poem-rendered, emotional ... CayCay CayCay Godwin January 6, 2019 at 5:33 PM Oh, honey, I understood that, my dilemma was that when I spill my truth I get comments that are not about the poem. I completely understood you, from start to finish, and now that I know it's true, I'm horrified, but still desire to comment on the poem, also. I believe in the right to speak, but I also believe that depending on the audience, one's truth can be tainted. Further, I believe it was no accident, but karma towards your spiritual growth, that u endured such, and that u were pre-equipped, wired, to grow from, speak about and reform such sad, stinking behavior and all associated with it. God Bless your unique journey, Heidi. Heidi Sands January 6, 2019 at 3:32 PM The question preceding the poem was in regards to victims right to speak. Which I was following through with speaking facts from my own experience to show other victims it is ok to speak :) I hope that explains it better. Thank you for your visit and input Cay Cay :)

Nette Onclaud January 6, 2019 at 2:01 PM ohh i feel with you on this one, heidi... a precious share worth its weight in gold... huggs Heidi Sands January 6, 2019 at 2:29 PM I can't thank you enough Nette...hugs :)

Aqua Marine January 6, 2019 at 1:57 PM I feel deeply for you, Heidi- so true, we don't always realize what others have gone through in their lives- you are so brave to speak up. The goodness in you shines through, proof that you are above those that have been abusive. They can't steal that good heart, or your creativity from you! Well done! (((HUGS))) Heidi Sands January 6, 2019 at 2:29 PM Thank you so much Aqua. I wish there were no victims at all and no-one should ever be silenced either. Our voice is of importance and no-one should feel ashamed for what others have done to them. I appreciate your support and words of encouragement, more than you know. Thank you ! Hugs :)

Ian Milligan January 6, 2019 at 1:47 PM Well spoken!!! Heidi Sands January 6, 2019 at 2:26 PM Thank you so very much Ian ! I appreciate your kind comment :)

Tom Cunningham January 6, 2019 at 1:04 PM Was hoping this was a fictional verse but I fear it is not . But I do believe that one day we will all have to account for our actions. Tom. Heidi Sands January 6, 2019 at 1:26 PM I really appreciate you taking the time to comment on this Tom. You're right, not fictional. I believe the same as you... that one day, we all have to account for our actions. Thank you so much :)

Demetrios Trifiatis January 6, 2019 at 12:28 PM I do not know what is going on BUt I know that Injustice hurts more the just than the unjust my friend but the just has got God at his side! Be patient my friend things will be resolved in your favor dear, Heidi! Heidi Sands January 6, 2019 at 1:25 PM You are absolutely right Demetrios, with everything you have said... so clearly. I can't thank you enough for your insight and taking the time to comment :)