To Speak Or Not To Speak

*Do you think victims of abuse have the right to speak or should they stay silenced? *I believe in the right to speak and the courageous who can bring positive change! So here goes: I don’t know, was it the checkers shoved in my mouth, the dragging of me across the lawn? I don’t know, was it the beating, the suffocating or my friend’s last breath? I don’t know, was it the not protecting me from other perpetrators? Or was it the locking me in the cellar, verbally blaming me as a child? I don’t know, was it the abandonment as a teen, then more blame and insults? Was it using the family to hurt me more, by manipulating them? What did I do to you? Nothing. I was a child! So, what hurts the most? I don’t know. The endless betrayal as an adult, now stealing my writing, stalking, not leaving me alone? *Maybe, it is the refusal to acknowledge anything, to open the door for forgiveness?* *I don’t know, but there is a God and he knows and he has something to say!* Heidi Sands 1/6/19