To Give Up... Or Not...

Fierce...Frightening...Hateful... Defense...Fear...Braking... Like a hawk chasing a mouse is the way it follows me. Like a child's scream of pain it tortures me. I run. I flee. Begging, screaming to be free. It entangles my limbs like wild growing vines. No matter where I go I trip over the lines. I'm tired of running. Tired of not knowing what to feel. Are these thoughts and feelings my own? Are they real? I lay down and curl up. I decide not to fight. I want to give up. That is MY right. As I begin to give up I feel something new. Anger. Its proud, horrifying and could not be more true. I jump up and let out a howling scream. I will not give up. I will take control. This is my dream. I rip through the vines and pick up my feet. I begin to run forward. I will not retreat. I see something bright. Its so close. I almost gave up. I almost froze. I kept going and found the sunlight. I'm no longer lost. I gave a good fight no matter the cost. Now I've ceased what I want to cease. Close your eyes and breathe. Its peace.