To Give Up... Or Not...
Fierce...Frightening...Hateful...
Defense...Fear...Braking...
Like a hawk chasing a mouse is the way it follows me.
Like a child's scream of pain it tortures me.
I run. I flee.
Begging, screaming to be free.
It entangles my limbs like wild growing vines.
No matter where I go I trip over the lines.
I'm tired of running. Tired of not knowing what to feel.
Are these thoughts and feelings my own? Are they real?
I lay down and curl up. I decide not to fight.
I want to give up. That is MY right.
As I begin to give up I feel something new.
Anger. Its proud, horrifying and could not be more true.
I jump up and let out a howling scream. I will not give up.
I will take control. This is my dream.
I rip through the vines and pick up my feet.
I begin to run forward. I will not retreat.
I see something bright. Its so close.
I almost gave up. I almost froze.
I kept going and found the sunlight. I'm no longer lost.
I gave a good fight no matter the cost.
Now I've ceased what I want to cease.
Close your eyes and breathe.
Its peace.
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