Time After Time

Yet again, as soon I conquer my mind The minute I do, new problems do I find If just for a day that my mind can be at ease If just for a moment my thoughts I can appease If just for an hour that I’m not at war with my flesh If just for a second I won’t believe I’m a disgusting mess The temptation is there, the desire so strong Yet I know if I give in, my actions will be wrong But what else can I do to take the thoughts away What else can I do when my mind starts to stray To all of the things people have spoken in the past What else can I do so those memories don’t last What else can I do to stop myself from feeling the anxiety When in all possibilities the damage is caused only by me I need to be loved and I really need to feel I belong But in achieving this I feel again my actions are wrong It’s a bit of a blur, a bit like the art of Spirograph The way my mind works, sometimes I can but laugh Not because it’s funny, but if I don’t then I fear that I’ll cry And I don’t think I would have an explanation if you were to ask me why ‘Why are tears flowing, why do you think what you do How many more times do I have to say yes I love you And that no you have not hurt me, neither am I mad And please stop condemning yourself in thinking you are bad’ So for now I find that I’m still in my turmoil But the plans of the enemy I know I will spoil