Tides of Tidiness

TIDES OF TIDINESS If I was God, the geographic world I would bless: I’d start by tidying up my world map for it’s a mess. First let’s examine the ideal - man-made edges can’t be beat. Look at places like the USA -Canada boundaries - wow they’re neat. Saskatchewan and the Four Corners - geometric perfection. Australia’s states too, and Africa, especially the northern section. It’s the instinct of all poetic geography teachers To want to tidy up the world map’s ragged features. The British Columbia coast needs sweeping with a big brush and All those islands pushed till they’re joined to the mainland. Same goes for the chilly south coast of Chile: So many islands and peninsulas - it’s just silly. And also the fjorded Atlantic coast of Norway: Smooth? Neat? Geometric? No way! The Canadian archipelago too might as well be joined up together Cos it’s one frozen mass all the time in wintry weather. Of those messy lakes of Canada and Finland we have no need: With God’s giant blotting paper I’d make them recede. And don’t get me started about the crazy course of a river.. . . Pure logic and efficiency I can deliver: The Amazon rises only 60 miles from Peru’s Pacific coast But clearly it felt the need to have something to boast. It should have gone west instead of 4000 miles east to the Atlantic A wasted effort, silly choice - it ended up being absurdly gigantic. And I have bigger complaints, such as South America Being fitted back where it belongs into the coast of Africa; And the Red Sea’s coasts, moved apart like edges of torn paper all raggedy: Dunno whose idea that was, but it ain’t foolin nobody. Obviously they should be stuck back together jigsaw fashion To satisfy my geographical neatness passion. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . *This is the latest in my series of Nutty Geographical Poems. Take a glance at your bedside atlas to see the places mentioned.