Through a Small Space

The eb and flow of repetitive shock... the common jolt of anxiety... I race for a moment... The moment caption: So I am a woman, what does that mean? The atmosphere of the room becomes dark and brooding... Then I see down a foggy road the way I have to go, and I know it means I'll have to change a lot. It's the only simple part...I calm down... minutes go by... Another shock! The adrenaline suddenly overwhelms, then suddenly subsides... The result of the rush: that sharp sting of reality that this foggy road is the way I have to go... ...a sting I can finally bare... I look at myself...I look like a failure, but this path I have is my success... ...I calm down... minutes go by... Another rush! NOW FEAR! How will I find the time? What will I look like? How will I get by? Once I start on my way, I can't return... ...so where will I be safe?! Why do I have to do this? I look inside behind the adrenaline...down a long hall....at the end there are stairs...I go down into the basement, across the length of the basement, into the closet, behind the water heater in a space in the wall... in the wall, there is only a feeling I get when God tells me I can and he will help... and that's all I really have inside... I pick up the feeling, pull it out of the space from around the water heater, go across the basement, back up the stairs, down the hall, open the door, walk through the adrenaline, look through my eyes onto the beginning of the road with that feeling in my hand... I hold on tight and take a step forward... I calm down... Another rush!!! ANOTHER FEAR!... ...but NOW I have something to hold onto...