Three Course Meal

You've heard the story of Goldilocks
And the bears that chased her away
But now it's time to tell the truth
'Cause it didn't really happen that way

Goldilocks weighed four hundred pounds
She'd eat anything in sight
And It didn't matter what it was
She still had to have one bite

Now the whole town knew of her appetite
So they locked their food in storage
And that just left those poor little bears
Who was just trying to cool their porridge

Now she could smell food a mile away
For she had an amazing snout
But still she waited to make certain
Those bears had ventured out

She didn't just break one of those chairs
She actually broke all three
Remember, she weighed four hundred pounds,
And was as fat as she could be?

She wandered into the bedroom
And broke each one of their beds
So she curled up on the floor to sleep
With three pillows under her head

While she slept, those bears came home
And they were as hungry as could be
Did I mention she broke the remote control
To the bear's big screen tv?

Anyway, the bears had finally had it
That's all that they could take
In their rage they didn't notice
That goldilocks was now awake

So they trapped her in the corner
And were poised for the attack
But goldilocks was still hungry
And was looking for a snack

Needless to say she ate those bears
I know this story seems crude
But I'm just trying to warn you 
To make sure you hide your food


Based on Goldilocks and the Three Bears
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

Poem

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A   Avatar
December 2, 2012 at 7:04 PM
Larry, .. it is nice to read this oldie and goody . :-) congrats with your wonderful win,, in the "Happily Ever After" contest.. always~ PD
Johnson Avatar
December 30, 2010 at 10:33 PM
Very funny Larry and my favorite of all. Congratulations. Love, Joyce
Kendrick Avatar
December 30, 2010 at 5:08 PM
Congratulations on your win..Sara
Gorelick Avatar
December 30, 2010 at 7:35 AM
Good one MR Belt...congrats..Ill never hear that story again without thinking of you and your gimnormous goldi...BG
Mehta Avatar
December 30, 2010 at 6:10 AM
Congratulations on this well deserved win in the contest of John, larry
Sweetheart Avatar
December 30, 2010 at 5:58 AM
Congrats Larry on your super win in John's contest with this awesome entry so totally entertaining.. my friend.. enjoy with luv and a Happy New Year too...with luv..
Brown Avatar
December 30, 2010 at 5:31 AM
Congratulations on your placement Larry in John Heck's contest. Love, Carol
Taylor Avatar
December 12, 2010 at 1:11 PM
It's good to hear the true story, my friend. Enjoyed. I won't be writing poetry for a while, my wife's health took a turn for the worse. Possible Big "C" in her lung. However, you and yours have a real great holiday.. Ralph
Bourdeau Avatar
December 9, 2010 at 11:25 PM
haha a very interesting spin on the story! I dig it lol
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