Thoughts On the Sidelines

Hope is hated when wasted on naught When energy is drained by strained excitement And when at last realization strikes The ostensible happiness dissipates into despair Doubt sweeps over as cruel fact As others see a decrepit smile Sovereign frowns reign from within Embarrassment embraces prickling the skin Hands don’t know where to go Body and mind began to slow I see him walk past me Not even a glance of acknowledgement Nostalgia and shame as one smother Why would I expect him to remember? Why should I expect him to even bother? Things change but emotion remains Something else stays . . . it is unexplained I try not to look his way anymore Without a speck of hope left But eyes flee and lightly brush against him He doesn’t seem to care So why should I be here? Questions torment and turn into declarative despair There is no more time for him and me So I’ll stay on the sidelines Can’t say I won’t be hurt there