Thoughts Inside Those Walls

as i lay here and wonder how many times i went wrong i realized i have lived the drug life way to long i lived day to day chacing that high! for what? i have lost everything and now i know why getting bit by that dog is what kept me sick my life wasted tick.. tick... tock... they say that one is to many and a thousand is never enough i never dreamed trying to quit would ever be this tough never knowing when your first time will be your life why is it so hard to put this life in the past this problem i have will it ever go away? its something i live with each and everyday when i look back on all the things i have ever done all the regrets i have all weight a ton all the stealing, lying, ducking catches up so fast thinking if only i could get that last blast weather i am smoking, shooting, or snorthing a line now i know i cant stay numb all the time i have turned my back on everyone i love now i look at the sky above please give me the strength to get this monkey off my back its time i grow up and get my life back on track in the end its only jails, death, and institutions so living a clean and sobor life is the only solution so the next time i think about getting high i am taking a risk that this time i could die