This Was Me

it began so innocently
we exchanged ideas on poetry
his art, the suffering he endured
he preyed upon my compassion
as he meticulously bided his time...

i felt safe as we expressed
our mutual love of words
i was excited, i was learning,
unbeknowst to me, i was his prey..

many months and thousands of hours, 
talking, reaffirmed my trust; faith in him
he shared his life, triumps & tragedies
i supported all he desired for himself..

i understood, i felt his pain, 
his drive i admired, he overcame tremedous odds,
became a doctor so others would not suffer as he had;
he baited me; the innocent and naieve one.

living life with no regret,
i chose to take a leap of faith,
he guided me, alleviated my fears,
of promises to cherish and adore me..

as a tiger waits patiently to pounce on his prey
i was oblivious to his hatred inside,
he was a master of manipulation
his mission - to destroy me..

i felt he was worth giving 
up all i knew to build a life
he so lovingly described to me,
little did i know, his words - poison..

america bound i left everything i knew; i loved.
the terror of his drunken rages, his icy silence,
the cruelty of his words stung like red hot coals.
what he admired most about me,intensified his hatred.

the vacancy in his eyes was terrifying, 
i was alone in a strange country, 
knowing no one, in a house, not a home, 
full of tension, rage, abuse; numb and in shock;
this was my reality..

with each painstaking day of living in terror
dreading his arrival, my fear reached new heights;
i had enough; i was leaving.
his rage increased, his words pure venom..

i was numb, shaking, fear drove me to action
he became desperate, i did not sleep 
for fear of never waking, his actions so terrifying
i felt a strength within, empowering me..

planning my escape, fear became my ally,
i reached the airport and did not stop shaking
until safely on the plane, doors shut, 
moving down the runway to take-off;
i wept, i crumbled, i collapsed.

jubilantly at home, i felt peace, safe, 
and soaked in the beauty of my freedom; my home.
it has been six weeks; i have flashbacks, 
terror still haunts me; i am determined 
to not let another change me.

i am healing and am grateful for every
moment i smile, smell a flower, witness
the marvel of each sunrise and sunset.
i am a blessed girl.

~this was me~
Copyright © | Year Posted 2007

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

De Beaulieu Avatar
March 13, 2025 at 9:26 AM
Hello Lynn Marie, wow! You have been through a lot. I am so glad yhou got out of that situation and found a way to get home where you belong. Yes you are healing. Enjoy your day my friend. /Darlene/
Inman Avatar
August 12, 2024 at 2:37 AM
It breaks my heart each time I read this, but I also have such respect for you and the strength that you showed.
Callus Avatar
October 4, 2017 at 2:13 PM
I had forgotten how touching and expressive this narrative poem is, Lynn! Reading it again I realize even more what you must have gone through. This goes to my faves...Warm regards // paul
One Avatar
September 19, 2017 at 3:30 AM
Wow... What an awesome write.. this is deep and gripping
Pekrul Avatar
March 12, 2017 at 8:44 AM
This poem drew me in from the very first line; it is intense and powerful. If this is a true story, then I'm glad you got out of that situation.
Marcum Wong Avatar
March 11, 2017 at 11:47 PM
A tremendous triumph to overcome such a hardship in your life. You should be very proud that you had the strength to escape and you are indeed blessed to be healing. My first marriage dissolved after 12 years of trying to live with someone who is mentally ill. But I got that happy ending and my second husband of 37 years is everything my first husband was not. You have written this poem beautifully! A fave and 7+. We learn and grow. Hugs, Connie
Lamoureux Avatar
March 10, 2017 at 8:56 AM
Wow, quite the story. I hope it is not true although you made it feel real.
Callus Avatar
February 21, 2017 at 11:29 AM
What a terrible fate, Lynn Marie! How could some people be so manipulative and deceiving! What a relief to know that the ordeal, the nightmare, is over! May the healing continue; may each new day come with a fresh smile. ~ Regards // paul
Lindley Avatar
February 18, 2017 at 9:31 AM
This is a masterpiece in conveying to the reader the great depths of despair, pain and love-lost hurt you had to endure and escape from! Thank God, YOU WERE BLESSED TO HAVE ESCAPED SUCH A MONSTER-AS ONCE I DID SO MYSELF MANY DECADES AGO. I hope you have returned to write here regularly my friend. A7 and a fav..
Inman Avatar
October 6, 2016 at 11:19 PM
Lynn, I've read this several times and it has left me stunned each time. My sorrow for you're situation overwhelms me. I don't usually assume that a poem is about a personal experience but I know you write from your emotions.
Devnath  Avatar
August 24, 2016 at 11:47 AM
Take care my friend always. This world is beautiful for beautiful people only and for others this world is a crucial place of ghosts and nothing else. Don't fear, believe God and pray always, everything will become normal. Read a poem on practical life. Hugs, Cloudy poet, bl
Allison Avatar
August 10, 2016 at 12:12 AM
Gosh Lynn this is such a vivid descriptive realistic poem I truly hope this was a fictional write. I know how easy it is for people draw you into a web of lies. :-( hugs Jan xx
Raven Avatar
August 7, 2016 at 1:30 PM
Hi Lyn, a harrowing story indeed. It is sad the way people manipulate and put on their faces. Why anyone would wish to hurt another is beyond me. I do hate a man trying to control a woman through mental and physical violence. I am glad you are away from uch a one and you are healing. Finding pleasure in simple things is a blessing indeed. I do admire your strength. Have a good day. Blessings upon you. Hugs....Mike. XX This is a seven and a fave.
Marie Avatar
August 7, 2016 at 1:54 PM
Thank you for reading and your encouraging reply. It has been 9 years since I was last on the soup, and I cringe at some of my poems! I may redo some, though it is interesting to see my progress! I am with you in I much prefer to live in light and love with Hope guiding my way. Your poetry is a great reflection of this! lynn
Brown Avatar
April 7, 2011 at 10:47 AM
Stopping in to read some of your excellent poetry today Lynn Marie. Hope to stop back again soon and read some more. Love, Carol
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace