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this was me

it began so innocently we exchanged ideas on poetry his art, the suffering he endured he preyed upon my compassion as he meticulously bided his time... i felt safe as we expressed our mutual love of words i was excited, i was learning, unbeknowst to me, i was his prey.. many months and thousands of hours, talking, reaffirmed my trust; faith in him he shared his life, triumps & tragedies i supported all he desired for himself.. i understood, i felt his pain, his drive i admired, he overcame tremedous odds, became a doctor so others would not suffer as he had; he baited me; the innocent and naieve one. living life with no regret, i chose to take a leap of faith, he guided me, alleviated my fears, of promises to cherish and adore me.. as a tiger waits patiently to pounce on his prey i was oblivious to his hatred inside, he was a master of manipulation his mission - to destroy me.. i felt he was worth giving up all i knew to build a life he so lovingly described to me, little did i know, his words - poison.. america bound i left everything i knew; i loved. the terror of his drunken rages, his icy silence, the cruelty of his words stung like red hot coals. what he admired most about me,intensified his hatred. the vacancy in his eyes was terrifying, i was alone in a strange country, knowing no one, in a house, not a home, full of tension, rage, abuse; numb and in shock; this was my reality.. with each painstaking day of living in terror dreading his arrival, my fear reached new heights; i had enough; i was leaving. his rage increased, his words pure venom.. i was numb, shaking, fear drove me to action he became desperate, i did not sleep for fear of never waking, his actions so terrifying i felt a strength within, empowering me.. planning my escape, fear became my ally, i reached the airport and did not stop shaking until safely on the plane, doors shut, moving down the runway to take-off; i wept, i crumbled, i collapsed. jubilantly at home, i felt peace, safe, and soaked in the beauty of my freedom; my home. it has been six weeks; i have flashbacks, terror still haunts me; i am determined to not let another change me. i am healing and am grateful for every moment i smile, smell a flower, witness the marvel of each sunrise and sunset. i am a blessed girl. ~this was me~

Copyright © | Year Posted 2007

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Date: 10/4/2017 2:13:00 PM
I had forgotten how touching and expressive this narrative poem is, Lynn! Reading it again I realize even more what you must have gone through. This goes to my faves...Warm regards // paul
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Date: 9/19/2017 3:30:00 AM
Wow... What an awesome write.. this is deep and gripping
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Date: 3/12/2017 8:44:00 AM
This poem drew me in from the very first line; it is intense and powerful. If this is a true story, then I'm glad you got out of that situation.
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Date: 3/11/2017 11:47:00 PM
A tremendous triumph to overcome such a hardship in your life. You should be very proud that you had the strength to escape and you are indeed blessed to be healing. My first marriage dissolved after 12 years of trying to live with someone who is mentally ill. But I got that happy ending and my second husband of 37 years is everything my first husband was not. You have written this poem beautifully! A fave and 7+. We learn and grow. Hugs, Connie
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Date: 3/10/2017 8:56:00 AM
Wow, quite the story. I hope it is not true although you made it feel real.
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Date: 2/21/2017 11:29:00 AM
What a terrible fate, Lynn Marie! How could some people be so manipulative and deceiving! What a relief to know that the ordeal, the nightmare, is over! May the healing continue; may each new day come with a fresh smile. ~ Regards // paul
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Date: 2/18/2017 9:31:00 AM
This is a masterpiece in conveying to the reader the great depths of despair, pain and love-lost hurt you had to endure and escape from! Thank God, YOU WERE BLESSED TO HAVE ESCAPED SUCH A MONSTER-AS ONCE I DID SO MYSELF MANY DECADES AGO. I hope you have returned to write here regularly my friend. A7 and a fav..
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Date: 10/6/2016 11:19:00 PM
Lynn, I've read this several times and it has left me stunned each time. My sorrow for you're situation overwhelms me. I don't usually assume that a poem is about a personal experience but I know you write from your emotions.
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Date: 8/24/2016 11:47:00 AM
Take care my friend always. This world is beautiful for beautiful people only and for others this world is a crucial place of ghosts and nothing else. Don't fear, believe God and pray always, everything will become normal. Read a poem on practical life. Hugs, Cloudy poet, bl
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Date: 8/10/2016 12:12:00 AM
Gosh Lynn this is such a vivid descriptive realistic poem I truly hope this was a fictional write. I know how easy it is for people draw you into a web of lies. :-( hugs Jan xx
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Date: 8/7/2016 1:30:00 PM
Hi Lyn, a harrowing story indeed. It is sad the way people manipulate and put on their faces. Why anyone would wish to hurt another is beyond me. I do hate a man trying to control a woman through mental and physical violence. I am glad you are away from uch a one and you are healing. Finding pleasure in simple things is a blessing indeed. I do admire your strength. Have a good day. Blessings upon you. Hugs....Mike. XX This is a seven and a fave.
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Marie Avatar
Lynn Marie
Date: 8/7/2016 1:54:00 PM
Thank you for reading and your encouraging reply. It has been 9 years since I was last on the soup, and I cringe at some of my poems! I may redo some, though it is interesting to see my progress! I am with you in I much prefer to live in light and love with Hope guiding my way. Your poetry is a great reflection of this! lynn
Date: 4/7/2011 10:47:00 AM
Stopping in to read some of your excellent poetry today Lynn Marie. Hope to stop back again soon and read some more. Love, Carol
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