This Thoughts of Killing My Self

There is no one else to blame, I cause my own loneliness. I am the reason why my heart is broken in two. I looked in the mirror and at that person I barely knew. Who the hell am I? And who I've been talking to Because these voices in my head are always responding Conversing with myself because I feel that I am all that I have And I will take the blame, I am not trying to point without damn fingers I can't escape the rain, whatever happens, the pain always remains I stay away from everyone I love No matter what I do, I still feel that I am not enough, would you mind if I simply decided to end everything? And that next time you will see me at my funeral .... help me out of this depression And if you do, how the hell can you see me fall? Don't you see that my walls are closing? Can't you hear the pain and suffering I have? I need help, I'm just afraid to ask I'm not in control anymore, I'm just waiting to crash I'm so screwed I know I've been dying slowly Please take away my pain I can not stay anymore I want to be quiet winged by my grandmother that I need so much I isolate myself because I'm ashamed of this Because everyone knows that I hate the fact that I exist I let out my secrets and everyone knows the truth They know that my suicidal tendencies are self-induced I know there is no excuse why I should want to end my life I am aware that the grass is greener on the other side I should be grateful So where is the disconnection When I feel happy, why does sadness always get in the way? It is as if my misery was predetermined. I try to smile, but deep down I am always weak and hurt. I know the devil is near and is always on the prowl. I feel his presence every time the sun begins to rise. I have been searching for so long. that will remain on permanently But that light seems to fade forever Maybe the darkness is simply impossible to evade I'm so screwed I know I've been dying slowly Please take away my pain I can't stay anymore