This Present Darkness
"If the light in you is dark then how great is the darkness"
It is 2am
But I am thinking of a way to tell my dreams that I have no means to lead it to its reality
Do I tell it?
That it was child’s play that I really didn't mean the words I say?
Or that it was just a charade?
How do I tell it?
That I have become a herbalist
Concocting lies from the lessons Experience leaves me
That as I sip this mixture, I get into an old arbitrary dance step
“One step forward and two step back”
Sliding into the hole I once dreaded
That the feeling I fear has summoned me
Overwhelming the lids of my eyes so I can’t see
I try
To open my eyes but I hear defeat each time
I work and work and work but a strange server keeps loading
How do I tell it?
That it was because I inhaled only smokes daily and though my eyes could see, I judged it right to touch more counterfeits rather that the real deal
My efforts have betrayed me
They taught me to believe that the applause I get is my ticket to stand among the living
I am weary
I have given up the will to get back on my feet
How do I tell this dizzy dream of mine that I tried to dampen the red coals needed to charge it?
How do I tell it?
That I might have brought a stranger home and it is the cause of this present darkness?
"If the light in you is dark then how great is the darkness"
Copyright © Hannah Azubuike | Year Posted 2021
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