This Lonely Road

Lately I've been struggling wishing I had something or someone to show me hope I've been stabbed in the back by people who said they'd hold me close My usually warm heart has turned as cold as snow Because it's the only way I'll make it through this lonely road I'm tired of being the strong one, but I'm not allowed to be weak I suffer with anxiety, so I don't like a crowd when I speak I'm focusing on self-love because people are never around when you bleed Grew up being bullied, laughed at and ridiculed, but I promise I'll have the crown before I leave I always get back up, no matter how many demons I have fighting me 7 years free from self-harm, but I still have flashbacks when I use a knife to cut a slice of cheese Reading old texts where you promised that during the coldest nights you would keep me warm I'll admit I lost myself by loving you, but I still found my way through that storm I'm not going to confess or talk about all of the intimate details But isn't it crazy, I still felt alone while laying in bed with different females Maybe because I was using them as bandages to cover wounds I didn't want to show I fell short as a man from time to time, but it all helped me to grow I put a fake smile on because I refuse show I'm scared I used to wish someone would lend a shoulder, not to cry or lean on, just so I know it's there But I've learned to rely on myself because people are never there to hold me close I may get scars and wounds, but I guarantee I'll make it through this lonely road