Things I Can't Stand

Serpents, scorpions and owls are things I can’t endure. The contents of a bovine’s bowels, albeit as manure, or monks in over-shady cowls, their faces kept obscure, the sex-life of the larger fowls, for me hold no allure. Threatened badgers’ hostile growls, an overflowing sewer, others’ stains on bathroom towels – repugnant, these, for sure. A dying pig’s pathetic howls (at least that’s one pig fewer): Walter Matthau’s drooping jowls – for these, there is no cure. Margaret Thatcher’s tortured vowels are dickish, not demure: and Ian Paisleys, Enoch Powells are ignominy, pure.