There Is This Dark Place Where I Go

There Is This Dark Place Where I Go There is this dark place where I go when feeling overwhelmed When life is too much to go on My light all but dispelled I take myself up to my room And lie down on my bed Surrounding pillows cuddle me My thoughts are all in dread I close my eyes and start to cry The tears flow like a raging river And every thought about myself Comes to the race in fever At every gate they wait to race To see who wins the day Sir darkness on the far end smiles His horse has come to play Black robe and spears upon him To take a life and show He has confidence that this time out He’ll beat his sorry foe Beside him are experienced rivals Ready to add their mark To set the fear and grief in motion A death they will embark And sitting near the other end A white horse comes to race An Angel sits atop his back To take away disgrace Sir Lord of Life sits patiently Upon his donkey proud He’s sure that somewhere in my heart My purpose can be found He’s at the far end, far away From darkness and his grip He knows he has to rewrite life And thoughts within its script He knows that darkness can be found So easily within But what grace can He offer with confidence and win? And so He prays to His father For wisdom that heals the heart From sin and loss, regret and fear His child needs a new start He places His words so softly Upon my heart to hear He wants His love to comfort me To know that He is near The Angel and her white horse Sit quietly on my pillow Like a guard at the door between darkness and life At the ready to be my hero There are so many at this race So much of hurt and pain They’ve come to plant the seed of death To cheer at the disdain They’ve come to make this life of mine Seem worthless and mundane To wipe away God’s weary promise And blast it with profane And all the feelings I have within Like a cancer start to rise I hear the roar of thunder I hear my heart of lies That all the ones I hold so dear Are somehow better without me That life is far too painful And my heart is far too weary Why must we hurt each other With words that cut like spears That foster hate and distance And open wounds of fear? The words plant seeds of worthlessness Of broken hearts and broken spirits But life can only take so much And promises soon become limits They hit so hard, these words we say They rarely stroll in softly They mean to hurt and take apart The consequences are always costly So off I go to the races To fight this war within To ask forgiveness for my disgrace To humbly claim my sin I pray that love will find me That love will surely win That those I love won’t leave me And know I’m only human I pray that someone save me From this hell I fight inside And plant a seed of forgiveness Of love that has not died The race is in full oscillation now The mud splashed on my face Of fear and hate and hopelessness They won’t give up their pace I see the light lagging far behind The Lord, he can be seen He may be slow, at times he fades But determined to intervene * * * * * For He loves me more than anyone And though this life is hard He lets me know in whispers That He holds me in high regard And Angel white upon my pillow Sits quietly and prays That I will see the love around me And the error of my ways I pray that those I love in life Will love me just as much I pray that they won’t leave me In darkness and its clutch * * * * * And so I wait in loneliness Upon my pillow of tears For a glimmer of hope and strength within To bury all my fears And as the race comes to a close I see all the repairs Within my heart and family That needed all these prayers An Angel kisses me with some strength To comfort all my pain And lets me rest this heavy heart So love and peace remain So sleep takes hold of my weariness And dreams begin to flow That maybe life is worth the pain And we all need each other to grow Another day at the races But this time let it be Without the many participants That bring me to my knees The sun is up and I can see That God has kept His promise To carry me when I’m at my lowest And give me His grace and solace * * * * * For He loves me more than anyone And though this life is hard He lets me know in whispers That He holds me in high regard And Angel white upon my pillow Sits quietly and prays That I will see the love around me And the error of my ways I pray that those I love in life Will love me just as much I pray that they won’t leave me In darkness and its clutch * * * * * Mary Susan Vaughn February 23, 2017