Then I Go and Spoil It All By Saying I Love You

The party is kind of boring Then all changes in a single moment. I see her standing next to me. Stunning and sweet as she always was. Her smile cuts my heart open like a knife. Hi how are you she whispers. I hope she cannot tell I am lying. As I tell her I am fine and make up some recent accomplishments. My mind is on her figure Her lips her hair. I might as well be speaking In a foreign language. Words falling like snowflakes Randomly In the wind. I ask her how she has been She frowns lightly. There’s a hole in my life she said. I fill up our glasses with wine. Hope raising in my heart Like the wine filling my glass. She tells a few happy stories It’s weekend and a party happy is a prerequisite. We drink quickly To fill our inner emptiness. And suddenly its midnight I hold her coat she slips her arms into the sleeves. Like we have done a thousand times before. I spin her to me we kiss I remember her and the hurt melts. She comes back to my flat We make love the trapped tears fall inside my eyes. Then the warmth of her floods my soul I am bipolar now. Feeling over the moon. I should have stayed on an emotional carousel not jumped onto the roller coaster. I can’t hold it back I spoil it all. I love you honey So much Please come back to me. She stiffened slightly in my arms. The moment was lost. We will see she whispers. The house is silent I awaken to the soft click of my door closing. Her side of my bed is still warm. I know my half healed heart Will reopen the cuts she left before. And I would bleed like I did when she first left me.