The Year

This year of hell Is over at last I hope and pray It’s now in the past But still I feel That I’m not believed How do I change this? I feel so aggrieved I do feel stronger but There is a long way to go I still feel panic Being anxious and low I’m terrified of conflict Arguments and rows So how can I change? Live here and now I need to move on Get a life at last Try to get over My nightmare past I’ve started to change Begun to feel free But I do still wonder Will I find the real me I crave to be held To feel safe and loved No longer alone or in danger No more hate, just love I may be too soft Lead with my heart But I’m starting to change Move on from my past I love my children They are my life I will always protect them Throughout their lives They have been damaged And abused by their daddy It is no surprise They acted so badly They are good kids Deep down inside They’ve changed for the better They really have tried I know they are hard work Their special needs are tough They want a loving daddy To treat them as such I want them to feel Loved, happy and free To have a childhood Better than me I’m so afraid Of what their lives’ hold Will they survive? Be able to grow old In this mad world Will they cope? With everyday life and Achieve their hopes I want to hold them and Protect them from hurt Unlike me, not be treated Like worthless dirt They deserve more Than the life they have had I will make sure that Their life is not bad I want people to see How they are now Not how they behaved Two years ago Things are better For all of us Beginning to live and Starting to trust Give us a chance Help us live free Accepting my children Accepting me Helen-Louise 26th February 2008