The Woke Raven with apologies to Edgar Allen Poe

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I tapped my keyboard, my eyes bleary As I tried to write a novel that was no bore I looked for inspiration, how to avoid clichés temptation I’d write about rejuvenation—hope for the lonely lass Lenore— An epic tale of a maiden born anew named Lenore— A blockbuster for evermore. Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter, In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore; “I have writer’s block, Mr. Raven, perhaps thou might be a maven. Though you be ghastly grim and ancient wandering from the Nightly shore— Tell me can a modern writer craft prose that’s not a bore?” Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.” “My idea that just can't lose, a crippled, homeless guy who likes booze He’ll rise to fame and glory but I worry on some phrases in this story. This and more I plan I’d write but the DEI staff might fight On the plot’s blood and gore that tells life’s authentic core Where from zero to hero, he’ll wins the fair Lenore Wins her love forevermore! The Raven looked pained and croaked "Nevermore!" Then, the air got denser, this bird was a woke censor A ghastly leftist bird who drifted over my parquet floor. “Wretch,” I cried, “who appointed thee—to impoverish my vocabulary Give me respite – let me write my way the story of Lenore; Don’t dilute my novel to be a crashing bore!” Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.” “Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil! Is it possible nowadays to write a novel at all? Can I earn more than zero, if I include a macho hero A macho hero to clasp a demented maiden who won't be sore-- Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore?” Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.” “Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I shrieked, upstarting— “Get thee back into the tempest and the underworld’s dark shore! “Don’t use ‘dark” said the Raven, “use BIPOC instead” as he continued sitting On the pallid bust of Obama just above my chamber door; And the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; And my soul from out my body that lies contorted on the floor Shall be lifted—nevermore!