Micheala Ruth September | + Follow Poet |
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The Way You Made Me Feel

I'm not easy
For people to talk to.
I'm quiet and awkward
And what do I say?
(Why don't I say more?)

I'm not that pretty,
I'm average at best.
You say I'm beautiful
But you say it to other girls too.
(It should just be me...
Why do you search their ig?)

I'm not that funny,
My jokes are dumb.
I laugh at them,
But you don't blink.
(You shake your head.
Where is your smile?)

I'm not that smart.
You try and tell me that I am,
But you call me dumb jokingly
And I can't do numbers in my head.
(You were condescending at times.)

I'm not all that strong,
But I don't think you wanted me to be.
You asked if that's my hardest
And laughed.
(Was it funny?)

I couldn't give you all that you wanted.
You wished for more than a kiss,
But I always got sick
Whenever you touched me.
(You always got mad.)

I'm not strong willed
And you took advantage of that.
Got me at my weakest
And manipulated me from the source.
(You realized my weakness
Was wanting to please you.)

I never knew how to talk
About serious topics with you.
So I always got quiet
And you always got annoyed. 
(I'm sorry.)

You confided in everyone else
And expected me to just know.
Everyone understood,
While I stood there looking stupid.
(Was it worth it?)

You got mad all the time,
When I was with others,
And not you,
Or when you thought I would leave.
(I should have,
But I tried to give you
The benefit of the doubt.)

I tried to be good,
Gave you more space than you deserved.
Pretended I was fine
Watching you party every weekend. 
(While I sat at home,
Just waiting for a message.)

I tried not to take up space,
Hoping that was what you'd like.
I was pressured half the time,
And you never really noticed. 
(Everyone else did.)

I put all my trust in you
All the time, always.
Look at where that got me.
Settled, unhappy, and completely undeserved.

I should have listened to those around me,
I should have listened to the signs. 
But learning curve and all that,
I caught it in time.
I'm no longer yours,
And you're no longer mine.

Copyright © Micheala Ruth September | Year Posted 2023

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