The Verdict
The Date: August 11th
The Time: 9 AM
The Place: The 23rd Judicial District Court, Assumption, Louisiana.
Bailiff: All rise! For the Honorable, Judge Cleotis Von Slumberbumper!
The jury has been seated your Honor, and all witnesses are ready to testify.
Judge: Thank you Bailiff. Aah, I see we have a full gallery today.
Hmm, I guess the dogs must smell fresh meat!
Is the Prosecution ready to call its first witness?
Prosecution: Why, yes we are, your Honor.
Judge: Then, please do so.
Prosecution: The Prosecution would like to call, as its first Witness...
The Honorable Cleotis Von SLUMBERBUMPER!
Judge: YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER COUNSELOR!!!
Prosecution: I'm out of Order? I'M OUT OF ORDER! NO SIR!!
It is YOU!!! YOU SIR Who's "OUT OF ORDER"...Your Honor.
LADIES and GENTLEMEN! I hold the evidence, right here in my HANDS!
That on the night of August 9th, at precisely, 9:37 PM,
At what you, and your "Cronies" callously call...The Saturday Night Poker Fight,
Did, with prior knowledge, and full intentions, fully discharge your "BOWELS", in such a manner, that completely "PEPPER-JACKED" your Fellow Stud Poker Players!
HERE! LOOK! It's right here for you to see, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury.
If it pleases your Honor, I'd like to approach.
I think this Jury will have no difficulties in verifying the validity, of said evidence of that night's Debauchery...And furthermore, your Honor,
Each witness here today, under great personal anguish,
are willing to step forward with the same evidence that I presented to You!
But, I don't think it's necessary to Burden the State, with Another Long, Drawn Out Trial, that could take YEARS, mind you, YEARS, to rid us of the STENCH, that has so unmistakenly Fouled the Air of our Sacred Courtroom!
No Sir, No Sir I say. So, unless the Defense has something else to add, and with no further objections, I'd like to move for a Painless and Speedy Verdict!
Defense: Uuh, no your Honor, no objections.
Prosecution: Then, by the Power vested in Me, by the 23rd Judicial District Court,
In the PARISH of ASSUMPTION, in the GREAT STATE of LOUISIANA,
DECLARE, that YOU! JUDGE CLEOTIS VON SLUMBERBUMPER, are UNFIT, UNFIT I SAY, and UNABLE, to CONTINUE to HOLD the SEAT that YOU are NOW PERCHED UPON!
The Prosection Rests...
And, if it's alright with you, your Honor, I'd like to be excused to use the Facilities!
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