The Used-To-Be Cowboy

I’m just a used-to-be cowboy With one boot in the ol’ cow pie— I used to be quite the young gent; Now I just wait around to die. Oh, you know you’re getting’ dern old When your knees creak like your saddle— And your skin feels just like leather And you smell like them ol’ cattle. Then you cain’t ‘member like you used And your mustache is all nose hair— While your head’s smooth as river rock When it used to be long and fair. Then your ol’ sex drive done rode off And left a droop that sure is cruel— It’s where your butt done used to be And where you used to keep your jewels! I reckon growin’ ol’s no joke: There’s nothin’ in it to rejoice— And though your parts do stop workin’— It’s better than the other choice!