The Twelve Pains of Christmas
On the first day of Christmas,
the holiday gave to me,
a headache bigger than Texas.
On the second day of Christmas,
the holiday pain for me,
was two sore feet and a
headache bigger than Texas.
On the third day of Christmas,
the holiday pain for me,
was three broken snow globes,
two sore feet and a
headache bigger than Texas.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
the holiday pain for me,
was four hours of weeping,
three broken snow globes,
two sore feet and a
headache bigger than Texas.
On the fifth day of Christmas,
the holiday pain for me,
was five collapsed soufflé’s,
four hours of weeping,
three broken snow globes,
two sore feet and a
headache bigger than Texas.
On the sixth day of Christmas,
the holiday pain for me,
was six co-worker Grinches,
five collapsed soufflé’s,
four hours of weeping,
three broken snow globes,
two sore feet and a
headache bigger than Texas.
On the seventh day of Christmas,
the holiday pain for me,
was seven broken light bulbs,
six co-worker Grinches,
five collapsed soufflé’s,
four hours of weeping,
three broken snow globes,
two sore feet and a
headache bigger than Texas.
On the eighth day of Christmas,
the holiday pain for me,
was eight hours of paper cuts,
seven broken light bulbs,
six co-worker Grinches,
five collapsed soufflé’s,
four hours of weeping,
three broken snow globes,
two sore feet and a
headache bigger than Texas.
On the ninth day of Christmas,
the holiday pain for me,
was nine days of the flu,
eight hours of paper cuts,
seven broken light bulbs,
six co-worker Grinches,
five collapsed soufflé’s,
four hours of weeping,
three broken snow globes,
two sore feet and a
headache bigger than Texas.
On the tenth day of Christmas,
the holiday pain for me,
was a ten car pileup,
nine days of the flu,
eight hours of paper cuts,
seven broken light bulbs,
six co-worker Grinches,
five collapsed soufflé’s,
four hours of weeping,
three broken snow globes,
two sore feet and a
headache bigger than Texas.
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
the holiday pain for me,
was eleven knotted strings of tree lights,
a ten car pileup,
nine days of the flu,
eight hours of paper cuts,
seven broken light bulbs,
six co-worker Grinches,
five collapsed soufflé’s,
four hours of weeping,
three broken snow globes,
two sore feet and a
headache bigger than Texas.
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
the holiday pain for me,
was twelve hours of overtime,
eleven bad strings of tree lights,
a ten car pileup,
nine days of the flu,
eight hours of paper cuts,
seven broken light bulbs,
six co-worker Grinches,
five collapsed soufflé’s,
four hours of weeping,
three broken snow globes,
two sore feet and a
headache bigger than Texas...
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