The Timeline: a Reprise
From the moment I was born I was considered a miracle
One month premature with so many things wrong
Many considered me a fighter, and I suppose I was
What they didn't realise is that the fight would continue
At the age of eleven I left for secondary school
Leaving behind the world of play for the world of work
But I never much cared for play, only finding praise
When I brought home the top grades
At the age of thirteen I realised something was wrong
Spending countless days trying to figure out why
Why I liked girls and boys, why I struggled in class
But mostly why I didn't want to wake up each day
At the age of fourteen I had begun the biggest fight
One that would last for plenty of years, always ongoing
With angry red lines on my arms, and thoughts of suicide
Always echoing around my head, I battled on
By fifteen I realised the one I thought I loved
Never loved me back, he saw me as his possession
One to do with what he pleased and throw me aside
But I found someone with gentle kisses to help me grow
By sixteen those gentle kisses had turned to violet bruises
Ones that reminded me of the emotional bruises on my mum
It seemed that life had given up on the little girl fighting for her life
The world grew darker in my head every day
By eighteen I was ready to finally leave the world behind
To move away and start fresh, becoming a new person
But the darkness in my head was to follow me
Proving that every year would be consumed in sadness
By nineteen I had turned to drugs, but not the ones I thought
Antidepressants made the world a shade of grey
No longer the black I was used to, but not yet the white
That I have been longing to achieve
So now at twenty-one I am thinking about who I was
Finding my old poetry that reads like a journal of the past
Of a girl scared and screaming for someone to help
Not believing she had the strength to help herself
But now she stands stronger than ever
Every day not quite as hard and the last
Looking forward to a future she knows she can have
Looking back on a past she knows she can overcome
Copyright © Teenage Frustrations | Year Posted 2020
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