The Survivor

Who is that woman in the mirror? The big blank eyes. The mouth that never smiles. The hands, always shaking. I don't know her. What can I do? I am afraid of everything and everybody. I only want to be home. But I don't want to be alone. I don't feel safe. Why am I always crying? Anxiety attacks that take my breath away. Flashbacks of violence, so lifelike. My body still hurts from his fists. I don't know why I can't heal. When will I be me again? He stole who I was. He broke me into a million pieces. Then he gave the pieces back. I don't know where the last piece is. Where will I end up? If I don't have that last piece, Am I still a survivor? I'm a blank image. Alone. Unsafe. Crying, anxiety, flashbacks and hurting. Unhealed. Please tell me, Is that really "surviving"?